Sick, Confused, Disheartened in Still Listening to Spirit

The mild ailment I went to the Clinic for a week ago Friday blew up into a major upper respiratory ailment over the weekend. I coughed non-stop, about drowned in liquid from lungs, sinuses, nose, ugh. I spent the weekend suffering, sleeping, waking, choking, despairing of ever feeling better. At one point Hub asked me "What can I get you?" to which my reply was "A bullet and a gun, please!"

Monday? I had to go to work, Heath and Jaime still in Anchorage, I got the coughing under control with a benadryl caplet and some of the obnoxious leaking fluids dried up but not much. I made it until I sent the last long tour out at noon and then crawled home and back to bed.

Suffering, fever, coughs, snot, Tuesday not much better, but I showed up, and got things going as they should. Good for me.

Heath was alarmed Monday to hear me on the phone. I told him to calm down, all was well, there was nothing he oculd do so just chill. Tuesday I handled what needed to be handled, then came home again.

Tuesday evening Heath called as they had arrived back from Anchorage and he wanted me to just stay home Wednesday.

Thursday morning I was up, showered, hair done, dressed and sat down to realize that I had used all my available energy to get ready to go to work and had none left for work! Heath laughed when I told him this and I stayed home.

Friday, today? I suited up, showed up, found very interesting changes had occurred while I was gone. I am not making any judgements about these changes yet, as I am still sick and likely to be negative and whiney.

Heath did payroll Thursday and boy did he have a HUGE surprise as many, many people had hours and hours of overtime that even paid at straight time rates rattled his cage. He even called me to ask me "Are you sure I told you I would pay you $xx.xx an hour?" I was too sick still to be anything but stunned speechless! Holy Gawd, I swear it is all I can do to let the man live! (rant over).

Heath explained today some nonsense which I am sure made sense to him that he would pay me $xxx a week, with his calculation being that I would work the 'usual' 45 or so hours a week which would reduce the per hour rate and that he never said he would pay me $xx.xx per hour......he paid me properly at $xxx.00 per week to whatever.

He also has given my desk area, computer, and most of my duties to Beth, who was hired to be popcorn cashier, but that's another story involving Marv and I can't go into it now. Lisa is taking up a lot of my former duties and Beth is taking over her reservations and such.

I am not much out of joint about this as I now only have to worry about dispatching, sales for the tours, and tour books and billing. I do not have a desk, oh well, I'll manage I hope. Heath is supposed to purchse me a laptop to use at the counter during the day. Whatever, I have asked for a phone at my desk forever as well as quickbooks for payables and now I don't have to worry about tht at all....

I am leaving typos in, I'm sick!

Hub has gotten this crud and it has just about taken him down, he's just to dumb to give in. We can barely both be in the same room without snapping at each other over whatever and I am too tired to do that.

I have dishes in the sink for a week, a week of food that needs purged from the fridge, the carpet needs sweeping, and I can't do any of it. In fact, tomorrow, I am likely to move out to the quilt trailer and live there so I don't have to look at or be bothered by the mess. HA! Take that!

Okay, I am babbling. I am seeing that my job being reduced is a good thing. That me need to be super-woman and do it all has got to stop and this is the year for it. A new work relationship where I am not diminished by lessening of my duties, for these duties were never really expected or performed before management changed them.

Does that make sense? I am expected to do my part, what is my job, assist where I can in cross-training with the other two women, and this is a good thing. Also, I am to work from 7am to 2pm when I can, good for my poor body, good for me.

I'll likely re-evaluate all this once I am weller and in a better space. Blessed be!