Fun in the sun with my son in A day in the life...

How clever is that title??

So California ended up being a good time. Mia and I finally hashed everything out and it turns out there was a lot of miscommunication and misunderstanding, which caused unnecessary hurt feelings. But we got everything talked out and we're good....we're really good now.

I know when I first got there I wrote about her and Josh fighting all the way home from the airport and her slapping him. Well, I asked Josh about it and according to him it wasn't a slap...he said she gave him a playful tap on the cheek, and he was laughing when he told me about it. I can't really argue with him about it because when I saw it happen it was out of the corner of my eye so I'll just have to take his word for it. He told me, "Mom, honestly, we don't go around hitting or slapping each other for real, we just play." And while I was there they did play around that way quite a bit. But the arguing almost all the way home from the airport...that really did happen. Josh said it was because Mia was feeling anxious about me being there and I can understand that, especially since she and I hadn't worked our issues out yet.

The visit was a lot of fun, though. Josh was able to take me on a tour of his ship (and I was able to snap a few pics even though that's supposed to be a no-no...shhhh!), we went to Los Angeles and I got to walk down Rodeo Drive (which isn't much fun when you don't have the money to spend in any of the stores) and then we went to Hollywood Blvd. and saw the Walk of Fame and the Hollywood sign. While we were looking for a good spot to get some good pictures of the Hollywood sign we got lost in the Hollywood Hills...lol. That was actually a fun thing, though, because we saw some AMAZING homes! The day before I left we went to La Jolla and went to the beach. La Jolla is such a beautiful little town and the beach is just gorgeous. I came home with a mild sunburn, but nothing too terrible.

So all in all it was a really nice visit. Then came time to go home. My flight was supposed to leave LAX on Tuesday at 5:20 p.m. and arrive in Chicago at 11:15 p.m., and I was going to drive home straight from there because I was supposed to babysit at 9:30 a.m. on Wednesday. I knew I'd be tired when I got home but I've done it before. Well, my flight was delayed by almost 2 hours and I didn't arrive in Chicago until after well after 1 a.m. (2 a.m. Michigan time). After taking Caity and Jason back to their house I decided to hit the road anyway and figured I'd still be home in time to babysit and I'd just sleep really good Wednesday night. Bad idea. On the way home I nodded off while driving and ended up running into a bunch of those construction barrels. The casing around my driver's side side-view mirror is completely gone and there's a scratch all down the driver's side of my car. I ended up texting Amanda and telling her that I'd had an accident and wouldn't be able to babysit that day. I felt so bad about doing that to her at the last minute but I had no choice because even after hitting all those barrels I tried to keep driving and I still kept nodding off. Luckily I didn't hit anything (or anyone!) else. I ended up pulling over at a rest area and slept for a few hours, then finished the drive home when I woke up. I'm so mad at myself for trying to make that drive when I knew I was too tired to do it. I could have caused an accident and killed someone! Sometimes I'm such a fucking idiot.

Oh, Josh and Mia and I went and saw Godzilla while I was out there. Josh and Mia had already seen it and Josh was just raving about it and wanted me to see it so we did. My opinion of the movie...it was okay. It wasn't bad by any means, but it wasn't anything to rave about. It took too long for the action to get started. So if you're considering paying money to go see it at the theater, my recommendation is to wait until it comes to Red Box.

Oh, I did something else while I was out there that I've been wanting to do for a while now. I got my nose re-pierced. It's cute....it's a teensy-weensy itsy bitsy diamond chip on the right side of my nose. I'm glad I did it....I've missed my nose jewelry...lol.

I've been in a funk since I got back home but I knew that would happen. Every time I'm with my son and then have to leave (or he has to leave) I get the blues for a few days. What sucks this time is I'm also having some pretty bad anxiety along with it. I have no idea what that's all about. Hopefully it'll get better as the depression over leaving Josh goes away.

Benny and Paulo were pretty good today. I think today was the first day Benny and I didn't have a contest of wills. He told me no a few times but always ended up doing what I told him to. Caity gave me a good idea that I'm going to start implementing....time in the corner! It will drive Benny absolutely insane to have to stand still and stare at a corner (and I know I'll have to hold him there), but I'm thinking if he realizes he's spending more time in the corner than having fun, he might finally get it through his thick skull that I'm not playing games with him. We'll see how it goes. He'll probably scream his lungs out the first several times but that's okay....when you're a mom you learn how to tune stuff like that out.

When Xavier got up today we talked for a little bit before I left and he asked how the boys had been. I told him today was a pretty good day and he said that yesterday he had to watch them and that Benny had been just horrible. I felt like saying, "Meet your son." Since Xavier works third shift and sleeps during the day he's not really around the boys that much, so yesterday was quite the eye-opener for him, I'm sure.

Oh, get this....now they also have a cat! It's a kitten and right now they keep it upstairs in their bedroom, but when I found that out I was like, are you fucking kidding me?? You have two dogs that still piss and crap in the house and are crated practically all day (because I refuse to deal with them) and your house stinks because of them, you can only afford to pay me $5/hour to watch 2 unruly little boys, and you went and got a cat??? Something is unbelievably wrong with this picture. I found out it's Amanda who's the animal hoarder. Xavier was telling me he hadn't wanted either of the dogs but that she got them anyway, and then while I was in California she just up and brought a kitten home and then told Xavier it was for him for Father's Day. He was not a happy camper.

I used to think that by watching the boys for only $5/hour I was really helping them out and blessing them. Now I wonder if I'm just being a fool. Having animals is not cheap, especially dogs. Yeah, this job isn't going to last long. I need to make more money, the stench of their house is like a rape of my nose every time I walk into it, and frankly I'm tired of dealing with Benny. I know that might sound mean, but I do my best to make him behave and his parents don't. It's a no-win situation. Or maybe I'm just a bitch.

So this weekend we'll be in Ohio for Michaela's high school graduation. Wow...where did the time go? She was only 6 years old when Tony and I started dating....sweetest little thing I ever met. The first time we all took a car ride together she was sitting up front between me and her dad (yes, in a seatbelt) and she slipped her little hand into mine and just held it without saying a word. That melted my heart. She reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger. I love all my girls very, very much, but Michaela's got a special place in my heart. I can't wait to see her and Sera this weekend :-)

Well, I guess it's time to go. Stupid anxiety it getting bad again so I'm going to go take a Xanax and smoke a cigarette. Hope everyone had a fab day!

Much love....xoxo