Kindergarten and parent teacher conference. in Since OD is shutting down....

So we had our conference today over the phone and I’m happy to report that my daughter is doing absolutely amazing in school! She knows all of her letters, most of her vowels and can write her name! She’s also really good at directing the other kids and making sure they’re doing what they are supposed to. She’s a natural born leader, I know she gets that from me!

I talked to them about daycare issues and they said for me to call their other site because they offer it but come to find out, they don’t have any openings. I put her on the waiting list but it could take awhile, at least a month or maybe into the Summer. I was sad to hear that they can’t take her because I had a glimmer of hope that I’d be able to get a job and not have to worry about finding someone.

Staying positive is my only chance at finding someone that’s a good fit. I want to start working again and it would be great to find someone licensed and affordable because I really don’t have to have childcare assistance because they are just too strict where my kid could only miss so many hours and you still have to pay the co-pay even if you lost your job. I want to plan to move eventually and I always think about what if I had to be hospitalized or something.

I would never be able to rely on my Mom so I could hold down a job, I’m not even willing to consider that because any time I try to tell her how I feel or finally stand up to her she can’t handle it and then I don’t have a babysitter. I don’t know how many times last year she wouldn’t even help so I could go to a fucking job interview and that’s not only hurting me but my child as well and I just can’t deal with someone who’s vindictive like that.

The whole deal where she comes over here and eats the whole time is something I’m about done dealing with. I even said to her the other day that she eats the whole time she’s here and she agreed and I told her we really don’t get much for a food budget but do you think she’s going to stop being so piggy?! Probably fucking not. It’s like she feels that it’s okay to be a leech and be disrespectful because she babysits and I really don’t have to deal with it because her old daycare lady is willing to watch her and actually hit me up asking to have her yesterday.

It means a lot for someone to reach out and want to take her because no one ever does! Even family! I think I may ask her to have her Saturday night for awhile. I don’t have a lot of money and I want to make some over the weekend. We have today and tomorrow and then school Thursday and Friday. I told the lady at her school that I wish it was more consistent because that would be a big help with me finding a job.

I also would never want to try and rely on my Mom because she’s been unreliable too many times and there’s just been too many falling outs. I also feel like my Mom just watches her to get whatever she can get from it. I just feel really used and taken advantage of. I honestly can’t handle the mooching anymore.

One of my biggest concerns about my Mom watching her, especially if I had a job that my Dad would be coming over here while I was gone. He’s done that shit before and I’ve told her that we aren’t going to do the behind the back bullshit and I just find that to be disrespectful and intrusive. I would rather just pay for me peace of mind and my kid’s safety. I’m not going to risk my kid’s safety and well being.

Then, I ended up getting a paper shredder the other day. I’ve been wanting one for a long time and got one from a lady on Facebook. I want to be able to shred papers and throw them away. Well, my Mom shows up and asks where I got it and I said something about how I just pulled it out of the bedroom and was shredding papers. Like, why the fuck are we so nosey and was she waiting for me to give it to her?! Where do these people think that if I have anything that I need to just fucking hand it over?!

I can’t even remember all the shit I’ve given them and they turn around and pawn it! I remember one time they were here and my Dad was crying around saying how they didn’t have a vacuum and hadn’t vacuumed in months. I had an extra one so I gave it to them and then he tells me about a week later he pawned it for $10! I doubt the fucking thing even made it to their house! I also remember numerous times borrowing them different things and either never getting it back or it coming back to me broken! I lent them my carpet cleaner right after I bought it and telling him not to use any more of the shampoo than needed because it was expensive so what does he do?? Uses the whole fucking bottle! Then, came into town several times but never bothered to load it up and bring it back so I happened to be out there and took the fucker. I was just so stressed about it that I didn’t realize it still had water in it and I got home and as I was pulling it out of the backseat, the water spilled all over the ground and it was BLACK! Thankfully, it didn’t spill inside of my car but he was so lazy that he didn’t even empty it out?!?

Anyways...... I registered my child for kindergarten today. I can’t believe how much shit is involved in that! I had to sign a bunch of different waivers about field trips, pics for social media, medical decisions…holy cow. I don’t know what school she will go to. We live about a mile or less from a school but her teacher said that the classes fill up fast so she may not go to that school. I still have to call and get her screening done as well. I just can’t believe how fast time has gone and I’ll have a kindergartener! That’s crazy! I remember the days of sleep deprivation, teething and diaper rash and now we are going to school! Time is the biggest thief of all!