Unsweetened in Current Events

I’m not bitter just unsweetened
I’m nervous about my hair appointment tomorrow. I’m getting rid of all my length and then dying it white or sterling. I feel nervous because I always leave my hair appointments silently disappointed that they can never commit to my one stipulation. Then I go a year or two before I try again. Honestly, it’s not like they can make my hair worse at this point. I would tell myself that it will at least grow back but… I’m not even confident about that one. I haven’t looked at my hair in a couple of years now because of many reasons and my busted hairline is indeed one of them. It could just be a maturing hairline but I am sure that there is something else going on.

I also noticed that my hair is rapidly shedding. More than usual. It’s not just on my scalp but my legs as well. I had an appointment with a specialist around this time last year but I cancelled. Maybe I should try again. Regardless, I should take a chance and dye it the colour I have been wanting while I still have hair. YOLO.

No, this is not a midlife crisis. I was lucky enough to have that a few years ago. It wasn’t so much of a “midlife” crisis but rather just me starting an inward journey after I discovered that all I did in my life was master pretending that the pain wasn’t happening. We are not hurting when we are drunk, high, binge eating, starving, making that dumb purchase, having that affair, that hookup etc.

I cannot get a word out of Toni most days. When I say hello or anything of the sort she just stares right through me. Is she just that stoned? No, she’s a spoiled rude bitch. Spoiled by yours truly. I am shifting out of my high spirits and sinking back into this toxic attitude I have toward her. Nothing is worth making a big deal about right now. I am so sick of my shit. I just want to go back to feeling good, great and positive. Toni and I sign our new lease soon also.

I am spending the evening with my sister and her children tomorrow. Pizza and movie night. Just when I started to feel content, that I could let my guard down, my “PTSD” from the rabbit hole journey kicked in. The children, I can’t cope with it. I remember trying to resist believing it but I just couldn’t. That is not a red pill I wish I had taken but I mustn’t be afraid of the truth. I don’t want to talk about it. You either know or you don’t. Those who do know carry one of the darkest things one can carry in their consciousness. It’s not easy to integrate that into one’s consciousness.

John, a coworker/friend, is taking his wife out for dinner tonight. He never stood for anything before, he couldn’t take the peer pressure and it was eating him alive that he was letting people believe that he had accepted their mRNA as his lord and saviour. It felt like he was living a double life so he went and converted to their re-legion of mad $cientism. Sort of. He got a vigorous detox regime from his naturopathic doctor and then got the J&J shot because it does not contain the mRNA. The damage from the mRNA cannot be undone. He was told that he has to take it again in two months. He was led to believe that it was six months between shots. Eugenic programs are so unpredictable that way. Then after that second shot, he has to take an mRNA one to become fully vaccinated. Of course, there is no such thing as being fully vaccinated. “Up to date” the CDC director now calls it.

We are all suffering a horrible pharmaceutical deficiency, thank god for medical tyranny. I was blind but now I see that I must trust the $cience. I must obey the $cience and follow the $cience into virtuous government compliance so that I will be saved from all of the virus demons that want to possess me! Amen. #RIPBrainCells

John seems perfectly fine. With his detox, he didn’t even get the debilitating lethargy from his cloth shot. The graphene shots still contain fetal cells, it’s 2022 and we are still cannibalizing babies to ward off evil spirits. Germs don’t cause, I am tired of pretending that they do. I don’t think John will have to worry about that mRNA in six months. Bill Gates did promise more pandemics but this cable news suicide cult will not be around to bring the fake news to life for it most likely. Like, we didn’t have data two years ago so there is just no excuse now. All these people have are the same boring talking points that they get from the news. Does the world need them? We will see soon enough.

I don’t want to polarize with any of that right now either. Fully vaccinated Trudeau was a “close contact” and has to stay home and away from the truck convoy. Live cams were getting turned off on the way there. The live feed is producing propaganda also. People are laughing at the fake news trying to ignore the huge crowd on tape. The narrative is the only thing that matters. Otherwise, it’s “unacceptable views.” Spoken like a true dictator. Back in the day, we would be building him a new swing set. Instead, he is building us education camps. I’m just so over it already. I need to be grateful for this movement though. Trudeau is squirming so hard right now. Klaus Schwab’s little prodigy lost the plot but still keeps trucking along. Pun intended. The truckers are giving us hope. Of course, to the cable news suicide cult, more compliance is how we get out of this. That’s probably what they told Anne Frank too.

There is this guy I DM with on IG from Sweden. He randomly said something sweet to me. “You are a mysterious being, I’m drawn to you a lot.” It was platonic, I think? I just haven’t had anyone say something nice to me in a long while. I felt touched. We usually just discuss the esoteric things. To him, it’s like getting in touch with his religion again. He was raised on it.

Blah, whatever. I just want this day to fade away. I will go out like a light as soon as I close my eyes. Might as well just do so. I want to start my weekend already and enjoy it thoroughly. Just had to air out some of these draining thoughts.