Money. in Since OD is shutting down....

Anyways, after the other day when my Mom told me that I would be getting someone in the mail from the IRS, I’m wondering if there’s going to be a fight regarding my taxes. Even though they are fully aware of my situation with no having a real job and not getting Child Support, I can see my parents deciding that I owe them money.

My Mother has gotten paid every single time she’s watched my daughter. I buy her smokes, give her gas money, I have also given them plenty of groceries along with her eating our food like a fucking horse so I’m just anticipating a big war over my fucking taxes.

Both of my parents are narcissistic and very entitled people. They have always been very greedy and have mooched off everyone and can’t figure out why people keep a distance and don’t always give them the warmest reception. My uncle is a crazy ass dude but I understand why he would get so pissed and not say very nice things because he lived with my Grandma and would always hear my Mom call and be begging for money.

I think there’s a lot of issues with my parents not being self-aware. They are both pros at mooching and manipulating and it’s sad to know that I’ve always been happier not really talking to them because all you do is listen to how broke they are and them waiting for you to offer them money. My Mom, Dad, and little brother all live together and they all get their own paychecks. The house is paid for along with their vehicles and somehow even with EBT, they are still not able to keep food in the house and that’s bullshit.

Both my parents have serious mental issues that need to be addressed. I remember an ex of mine saying that he’s never seen anyone with parents like mine. I’m angry that I’ve had to rely on my Mom to watch my kid because her Dad refuses to be a parent. I would love to never have to have anything to do with either one of them ever again. It’s emotionally draining and expensive financially.

I remember about a year and a half ago when my Mom first left my Dad and started coming around. She did nothing but take advantage that myself and my kid wanted her around. She’d stay a few days, eat all our food or the vast majority and then come back once my fridge was re-stocked. Then, the other day I told her I would get her some stuff at Walmart where I thought I’d only spend maybe $30 at the most and once we got to the store, she literally pulls out a fucking shopping list and I ended up spending almost $80!

That really made me feel used. She just decided that I could afford that! It’s like they burn through their money and wait for someone to come along and fix it. I was super upset seeing her pull out a list of shit for me to buy. There was a lot of expensive shit like coffee and most of it was for my Dad and little brother and I didn’t think it was right that I should have to feed them when they don’t even like me and my Mom babysitting has absolutely nothing to do with them.

I also have a lot of issues with my Mom watching my kid. Just over the weekend, she gave my child cereal and a fucking pop tart for dinner. I ask her about it and reiterate that we need to be super aware of her diet and she just immediately gets defensive and tells me I’m being mean and nasty. I need to be able to communicate effectively with whoever is watching my child and with my Mom, I’m unable to do that. I also don’t like feeling that I just owe her/them because I ask her to babysit once a fucking week.

In my opinion, it’s a really unhealthy relationship between my Mom and I all because I need a babysitter. I’m just getting used. I am still working on finding someone trustworthy and affordable to watch her because literally, I don’t know how much more I’m willing to put up with. I’m seriously tired of the anxiety that I feel coming home worrying about my house being just totally wrecked and what food/drinks she’s wasted.

I’m just sick and tired of being made to feel that if I get any help at all, they are just owed. I’ve helped them to the point of not being able to take care of myself. I remember back in the day being broke and starving because I had helped them. I would cry and scream because I would borrow them money and never get it back. I’ve helped with thousands of dollars that I will never see and yet, they still feel that I owe THEM!

This weekend is probably going to be some bullshit because my brother wants her to babysit and we aren’t exactly welcome there so I’m going to have to find a sitter if I want a break. My brother and his girlfriend are concerned that I’m looking to snoop and steal from them and their daughter is really mean to my kid so I’d rather her not be there anyway. My niece’s grandfather watches her every weekend so it’s bullshit that he even asks my Mom but honestly, I need to branch out and find alternate care for my kid.

With Summer coming and not knowing what’s gonna happen with the child tax credit, I need/want to find a job. I would never want to try and rely on my Mom so that I could hold down a job so I’ve been talking to different people online about childcare and their rates because I have to get something figured out.

I have just felt so stuck for so long that it’s hard to see outside the box. I think having my Mom babysit has been really detrimental to me finding real childcare and be moving forward.