Mooches. in Since OD is shutting down....

OK so yesterday was the most horrible Monday I've had in awhile. I ran over a bunny, got pulled over (no ticket and I was doing 10 over) and didn't make much at work. I was just having the worst day and just wanted to cry and then my Mom texted asking me to bring them groceries and smokes. Um, are you fucking kidding me?!?! Fuck to the no! I really don't get how they think it's okay to borrow money from people, make no attempt to pay it back but then keep asking for more help! I was just enraged and wanted to write her back and say something about how I was pretty sure I already told her I was done helping them but just said, "I'm working" and she wrote back, "ok" but I'm still pretty pissed about it. I can't believe she had the nerve to ask after I gave them $1,300 without them making so much of an attempt to get any of it back to me and then think I should just keep throwing good money after bad! NO fucking thank you!

My parents have burnt all their bridges and I really wish they would understand that nobody is trying to help them anymore. It just seems like they want to live for free and let everyone else worry about how they are going to get by. I don't understand why they think my brother and I should help them when they did nothing for us growing up, neither one of us had a college fund, we had to work for everything we got and we were abused by our Dad and they STILL think we need to take care of them!

I used to think that it was just my job to give them money because they were my parents and I needed to help them. Well after being taken for all I was worth, starving, having my back account emptied numerous times, being threatened to have stuff taken away if I didn't help, and being treated like shit I know that my first priority is myself and they need to find their own way. Just because you love them doesn't mean you have to help them. I've always been very generous and giving with my parents but I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry that my Mom doesn't wanna work and is sick of taking care of my Dad, but no one can do anything about that situation but her.

It irritates me that the past 2 weekends I've had to feed her and buy her stuff to get her to come around for my niece's sake. Also, she doesn't help with her at all. She is basically just there to mooch off me and my brother. My brother had to give her gas money and groceries for her to come into town on Saturday to hang out and that's fucking ridiculous! You shouldn't have to pay your Mom to come hang out with her granddaughter! I mean wow!

I just think it's bullshit that my parents act like we all just owe them. I also think it's bullshit that we have to pay them or compensate them to come around. I just refuse to do it and I'm glad that my brother, his girlfriend and I are all okay again and hopefully it will stay that way so that my Mother doesn't have to be involved. I had to buy her toilet paper and pay for her lunch again on Saturday and it made me so angry that I had a fucking stomachache! I couldn't say anything because it would have ruined my time with my niece but I am so tired of having to pay her and my Dad for anything they do!

My parents are really fucked up people and I'm sorry that I'm related to them. I liked it better when I didn't have to be in contact with them and I think if she keeps asking me to help them out, I'm going to become a raging bitch and be really fucking mean and then maybe they'll get the fucking hint! It sucks that they are broke because nobody works but they are adults and need to start fucking acting like it! My Dad always says how my brother and I owe him money and even if that was true, how long does he plan to use that as a way to get us to give him money?! I don't care if I owe them or not, they need to figure out how to support themselves!

What bothers me most is never feeling like they actually care about me or being a part of my life unless they are getting something out of it. It actually makes me feel like shit and makes me hate them. It's just really sad that they don't care about anyone other than when they are getting something out of it and can't figure out why people keep them at a distance and get so mean when they ask to borrow money. They have gotten huge sums of money from people such as my Grandma, uncle and my Grandpa without paying any of it back and then get mad when they ask for more and get treated like shit! They think it's everyone else's responsibility to figure out how to pay their bills instead of dealing with it on their own. I know my Mom has helped me out in the past but I've also done way more for them then I ever should have and I have to stop now.

I'm just so glad that I have everything in my own name and I pay for it all by myself because part of the reason I had to give them money back in the day is because most of my shit was in their name so if I didn't help them, they would threaten to take my shit away! Even when I had to use her car for a month, my Dad wanted to take it away even though I gave them $1,300! It's just sad that that's the kind of people they are but I'm glad that I have all my own shit and don't have to put up with theirs!

Anyway, I decided to get chocolate wasted at work last night and ended up feeling sick all night so I slept like shit and have to work early this afternoon. Again, having to go several hours without eating is why my diet is so fucking bad. By the time I eat I'm starving so I eat whatever I can get my hands on and it's never anything even remotely healthy! I'm very frustrated and sad that I've gained back a shit ton of weight but I honestly don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do about it. I know that going to gym would be a big help but I don't know when the fuck I'll ever have time to go. Like today, I have to go to the bank, the UPS store, mail a couple of things, Walmart, get my oil changed and then go to work. I really want to go work out but even now, there's just not enough hours in the fucking day! Plus, I wore a skirt and sandals on Saturday and fucked my feet and my thighs pretty good because of the plantar fascitis so I'm giving my legs a few days to heal anyway. I feel like I'm just full of excuses which makes me feel even worse. I just don't want to be a fat pig for the rest of my life and I know it's time to start making some changes but I just feel like I can't get started and even if I did start, I feel like I wouldn't be able to stay consistent. Fuck.

Work is going ok I guess. That one manager...well he's a fucking douchebag. I don't know how I ever thought he was a good egg but I was fucking wrong! I think I'm actually starting to hate him. I also have noticed how that one chick I work never really seems interested in talking to me much anymore or ever invites me over..hasn't in a few days. Oh well, it's her loss. I don't chase, I replace.

Anyways, time to start the day.