Thinking of SH & hyperpop music in Journal 2022

I haven’t cut in years, that’s fucking crazy. It was 2021 I think I posted about it here and now I’m here missing it. I was gonna go out like a nutcase I suppose, with hundreds watching. It just shows my ego.

Joseph and I spoke today. It was nice and I was thinking about how insane my mood swings are. One minute I can be miserable, wanting to die and the next I’m top of the world. Its worrisome but, I don’t want to worry when I had a good day.

He asked did it make feel weird or uncomfortable that he thought about kissing me. It felt…nice hearing. For months people where telling me it was all in my head and I thought the same.

I was pleased and felt flustered. A man has not made me feel flustered in years, so this was big for me. But then again they weren’t men they were boys and I was a girl. But I don’t feel like a woman really.