Petty in Current Events

I’m going to make a mountain out of a molehill here and complain about something petty about my roommate, again. Business as usual. Well, I have been making a conscious effort not to complain about her. Today, I fail. I spent a huge portion of my day meal prepping. I left some slots in my containers open for my grandmother’s friendship cake that she baked me. She was so proud to have made it vegan for me. I couldn’t find it and it was just obvious that Toni finished it off. At least I got a couple of slices before she did that this time. She ate the vegan cookies a coworker made me while I was sick also. I am so fed up with this shit. She needs to grow the fuck up and just cook instead of eating absolutely everything that is available when she is stoned. It’s as though her mental development just stopped at 16. I’m so fucking over it. I literally left the house Friday morning wondering if she was going to just devour everything in sight that evening. I went straight to my sister’s after work and wasn’t home to cook for Toni. She does pay for her share now at least but fuck, that loser energy that stoners fill the world with grinds my gears.

What she actually needs to do is quit pot altogether. I didn’t realize that when we moved in together that she was a raging alcoholic. She thinks that she has it under control now with just drinking on her days off. She does not. She is not in control. Now she is just self-medicating with her fucking weed. She needs to get high just moments after waking up. Then sustain that for the rest of the day. She has a sobriety problem. She hates her reality that much. I refuse to make that my problem. She is free to commit to being a fucking loser. There are people with real problems and there this bitch is, dragging herself and everyone down because she can’t stand feeling lonely. Like, maybe that’s what you are supposed to feel like when you kill your unborn child? Yes, that was blunt of me but she can’t seem to piece it together. The timing of it all.

I felt bad that I didn’t invite her over to Bruce’s last night but now I don’t. Toni only wants to do what she feels like doing when she feels like doing it. Toxic Taurus energy.
Toni do you want to
No
Toni do you need
No
Toni can you
No
I saved myself a trip and just didn’t bother asking her. I’m not responsible for her social life.

I did have a decent time at Bruce’s birthday game night though. Met some new people. Had some drinks, ate some food, played some games. Got home super late. Felt like I have a social life again.

I save everything for Sundays. Deep cleaning, meal preps, going over my financials, self-care etc and I do not start until Toni leaves for work. I committed myself to visit Bev’s kids today and I was stressing so hard about it. I didn’t have enough time to complete the million things that I had going on at once. My mood went south and I think that is why I am extra sensitive about Toni and her bullshit. I will get over it. I’ll just avoid making plans with people on my Sacred Sundays. My mood was very good last week. I intend to keep it that way next week also. I will eventually have to try and have a conversation with Toni and add some self-awareness to that pubescent 35-year-old. It will go super well… NOT.

Anyway, just needed to air it out. I made us dinner and I should go eat some. Blah.