More in Friends With the Benedicts

So there is more crap I should prolly write about. Wow, there is a few items that are really front page news worthy ya know? And at the time they happened I had nowhere to go. Or so I thought, ya know, blah blah. Pride.. what a horrible thing to overcome. It wasn't just pride tho. It was grief. I had to get to that last step. That acceptance. And when I did? Suddenly it didn't matter anymore. Suddenly I was able to see with a lot of clarity and what I saw was me only hurting myself by choosing a diary site that did not contain the majority of the people I had come to know and love. So.. yea. Then the decision became easy. And now I'm here. :) I cannot remember if this had already happened around the time OD was still up, but I know for sure I have never mentioned it here. And that is the fact that my Father was convicted of child molestation and found guilty and sentenced to 35 years in prison. When the story first came out, I didn't believe it. My family didn't believe it. I think that's why I didn't. I mean, they know him better. lol. I had only met the guy not even a handful of times and written back and forth a few letters. That certainly didn't qualify me to be any judge of character. But to me, it didn't fit. Theft? Yes. DUI and other driving infractions? Check. Drugs? Most definitely. But this was way out of left field and we thought surely they had to be trying to frame him. Thought maybe he had wronged the mother in some way. The girl was old enough (10) to be persuaded to tell a white lie for a "good" reason, ya know? I hoped. We all hoped. That hope died when we found out there was forensics. There was DNA from him found in her panties. So with that, my world kinda shifted and changed. Not crushingly, but enough that I felt it. See, my dad has never been there. He did not claim me during the first part of my childhood, in fact denying I was his. Then, when I was 12, I took it upon myself to call 411 and get his phone number and then my brave ass just called him, just like that! When I told my Mom who was on the phone and wanted to talk to her she was beyond shocked. LOL. After that I met him, then he called off any future reunions by saying he just didn't think I was his and wanted a paternity test, blah blah. He was afraid we would go for child support despite adamant protests to the contrary from me. But, whatever. I lived. Just as I had before. Just a little wiser then. I didn't think about him until I was all grown up and happy living in Iowa with my wonderful wife. I looked him up and found out he was in prison. Perfect, he couldn't run from a letter. So I wrote. He wrote back saying he was changed, of course he claimed me, blah blahhh... lol It was actually very informative. I asked questions about my siblings, he answered. Even sent me a pic of my little brother Alex. Anyway, I saw him when we moved back to Pensacola when we were having a yard sale at my Mom's house. He pulled up on a motorcycle and I hugged him. It was fine. We talked for a little while longer on the phone until I asked to meet Alex and then he dropped the P bomb. Yep, he wanted a test. Said to find out about them and call him back. Of course when he found out they were $500 minimum I didn't hear from him again. Last time I saw him was when my cousin Vanessa was down at the water and called me saying he was down there and I should come down. I don't remember much about that time, but I was cold and aloof I know that. I'm pretty proud of myself for being that way toward him too. Later on tho I did find him on FB and send him a friend request. It took him forever to accept. Probably because Alex was his friend on there and he knew I could get to him. But he underestimates me. I would never do anything to hurt Alex. And at this point, telling him out of the blue with everything he is undoubtedly going thru would just be wrong. I only have one chance to get it right. So I am gonna wait till he is 18. That way nobody has a right really to object. I can't wait tho!

Isn't he so cute?! Um, he is obviously the only on the right, not the old lady. LOL.

So anyway, that's one of the "big ticket" events that happened. Oh... mugshot! Yea, that was plastered all over my FB wall for a few days! Lovely! Here is the no good lyin ass kiddie fucker now: Looks like scum don't he? Yea, well, he is. And I am sooo grateful that ll those wishes went unfulfilled as far as him being in my life for many years.Who knows how much worse my life could have been.
(OMG I tooootally just almost lost that *whole *entry! I had nodded and when I came back it was gone! So I hit the back button and then the forward button and there it was! Albeit with a lot of S's typed in. LOL) OK my wife is bugging me to get on the computer now so Imma go cuz she's pissin me off. LOL byeee!

Steph