Go Watch Orphan Black in The Crimson Permanent Assurance

This is my wish for you, that you get as hooked on this show as I am. It is amazing. Give it a few episodes and you will be totally hooked. We have managed to actually get current on episodes and we watch the latest one on Sunday nights. So good. BBC America. Do it. Now.

My life. Oh, my life. I am maintaining which I feel like is as much I can be expected to do. I took the kids to the lake today. I got the lawn mowed with help from Haley and Savino and Jaden.

I have to work tomorrow from 9am to 7pm. I cannot even tell you what my life is like these days. I am not even sure myself whether its good or pathetically bad but I think maybe it's good. At least, it is good for everyone else. For me, it is as good as it gets, which means that today I spent almost 2 hours watching kids swim and didn't think about much else. I just sat and watched and enjoyed the shade of the umbrellas and the kids playing in the frigid unswimmable lake water, and almost two hours of only occasionally picking up my phone to take a few pictures. Of course, at the end I was yelling at kids for not cooperating with the leaving process, but I think that THEY enjoyed themselves, which is the important part.

I am maintaining. That is what is really important. I even got freaky with Tim last night, and despite being five sheets to the wind, I remember and enjoyed it. But I have a giant fucking hickey on my neck that Tim gave to me last night, and I will have so much fun explaining that away. Thanks honey.

So life is weird. It is extremely Real Monday through Friday and slightly surreal Saturday and Sunday nights. But I am keeping this Machine running even when Tim Doesn't seem interested in doing his part which is every fucking weekend but whatever. I chose this life, so I am doing what I need to do to keep it together. My mom is coming into town June 10th through July 1st. This should be awesome. I may actually get Sober for the weekends she is here. I cannot express what a terrifying but liberating idea that is. Who will I be when I am completely free of any mellowing influences? This could be good or horrible. I guess we will find out.

Last updated May 26, 2014