Christmas Eve. in Since OD is shutting down....

It’s just another day. I am honestly so tired of never having family for the holidays. My daughter keeps asking if we are going anywhere and I don’t know. I never hear from anyone. I let her open another present and we made breakfast. I just got done cleaning up the house and now she’s watching Frozen. I’m enjoying some iced coffee.

I’m not going to be grumpy or anything, just enjoy the holiday with my daughter. She’s always in good spirits and I wish I could be like that. I’m pretty good at pretending these days.

Cooking and cleaning is never ending. That’s all I’ve done today. My daughter keeps unwrapping her presents and I have to run behind her and pick up the wrapping paper and boxes. She has 2 gifts left and knows she can’t have them until tomorrow. We made muffins and she had lunch.

It would be so nice to get a break today but I never do. She goes back to school on the 3rd so there’s that at least. I love my daughter so much but it’s hard on the mind to never get to have a life outside of motherhood. I’ve lost jobs because I don’t have childcare and I don’t get to have any kind of social life because I don’t have anyone to watch her. My brother has always tried to talk me into online dating but even if I met someone, I won’t bring my kid around strangers so I don’t understand how anyone expects me to find a partner.