I'm okay. in Since OD is shutting down....

I talk to my co-workers about my ex and have decided that until he makes any real effort to contact me such as coming to my work or coming over to my house I plan to leave things where they are. I've always been the one to swallow my pride and contact him and I'm just not going to do that anymore. I know he's waiting for me to reach out to him but I won't this time simply because I know how it would turn out. It would be the exact same situation that it's already been several times before and I'm just not willing to put myself through that anymore. He's never going to change and he made unmistakably clear so if I were to contact him all it would do is make me depressed and suicidal and for what?! I know I'm okay without him so there's no need to put myself through that crap again.

Today has been a great day off. Weather is awesome. I got groceries, went to the food bank, made the car payment and got a bunch of cleaning and laundry done. I'm a little bit bored but no one is answering their phones or they are working. I had a co-worker call and ask me to work for him tonight but I'm just too fucking tired. I hate when I'm not there but I need my days off. I just can't do 6 days a week anymore.

I wanted to get my oil changed but it's friday and every place in town is booked solid. I called this one place by my house and they told me if I were to show up right away they could get me in but by the time I get there, I tell them I wanted to get my oil changed and the guy smiled at me kinda weird and I asked if there was something wrong with that and he said there was a 2 hour wait and I was like no I'll come back next week or something. I just get so tired of every time I want or need to get shit done, it's always a fucking hassle. I'll just wait until next week when people are at work and try to get my oil changed then. I'm about a 100 miles over and it's not a huge deal but I just wanted to get it done so I wouldn't have to worry about it but it is what it is.

It's so awesome to just sit here and do absolutely nothing. I'm really enjoying being on summer vacation from school and having this extra free time. It's too bad I don't have more people to hang out with. My Mom wanted me to come visit today but I didn't because I had shit to do and because if I hang out with them too much then they start asking me for money, groceries etc..etc...it's sad but that's how they are. I really wish my family cared about being my family for the right reasons instead of the reasons that are good enough for them.

I plan on going to bed early tonight. I don't have anything planned for tomorrow other than maybe getting to see my niece again. I tried to text my brother and see if they wanted to go get frozen yogurt but he didn't seem that interested.

My days off are enjoyable though. I love being able to just hang out at home, get shit done and then be able to relax. I'm probably gonna take a hot bath soon and take a hot bath.