Pretty sure I hate my family. in Since OD is shutting down....

My older brother has always had an issue with my Mom watching my kid and has made that known for quite some time now. Over the weekend, my Mom watched both kids meaning his too and left my house a fucking trainwreck after she said she would help clean it up. I let him know I’m done allowing this shit. Last night he texted me saying that I was blaming his kid for the mess when I never fucking said that.

My Mom has always been really great at making everyone angry with each other and doesn’t bother to clear things up by saying she offered to help clean and that she does in fact get paid for babysitting. I make sure to give her gas money, buy her smokes and even helped with groceries multiple times. I just love how she doesn’t bother to tell anyone that she DOES get paid. My brother says that I bought her food with EBT so it’s not a big deal. Well, it still is because it’s taking food out of my household and I’ve paid for her gas and cigarettes with my debit card so he can fuck off.

I just got done telling my friend the other day that I just want my Mom to be a Grandma, not the babysitter and I’m going to find someone else to help me out even if I have to pay out the ass. No one wants her to babysit and I honestly don’t either because my Mom seriously can’t handle it. My kid destroyed my house because my Mom let her do it. My brother says I need to teach my kid to clean even though she’s 4 so at this age, all she can really do is pick up toys. It’s kinda hard to teach them how to vacuum, do dishes or use the carpet cleaner after my Mom’s dog pissed all over the place!

Again, I’m a single Mom and there’s no changing that. I still really don’t have any help here and if I ask, I get fucking crucified for it. I need to figure out how to clone myself apparently. I just don’t think anyone related to me understands because NONE of them have ever raised a kid by themselves. I’m tired of it being where I’m just wrong ever asking for help.

I resent my family for making me feel that it’s wrong to want a break sometimes, even if it’s to go make money. My brother expects me to buy gifts for his child when I don’t have a sitter to go make money. I can’t shit a miracle and I’m only 1 person!

As I predicted, it’s a snow day so we’re home. I could have taken her to school 2 hours late but the roads have ice under the snow and I’d rather not risk going out. I even rescheduled an appointment for tomorrow because I don’t want to drive in the snow. I’ve driven in the snow every winter for so long and now, if I can avoid going out in the it than I do. If we can stay in, watch movies, drink hot cocoa and watch the snow fall, I’m all for it!

I’m going to see about getting CPR/First Aid certified and maybe start watching kids at my house because I still need to make money and if I can’t find a sitter than I might as well be one. I stress about not having a sitter so much that I end up physically sick so I really need to just try and find someone that won’t overcharge me and a job that will let me leave when I’m scheduled.