What me worry? in Second 1st

Calling a lawyer about help with SSI paperwork made the cut yesterday..... calling family to suggest I make Christmas dinner instead of finding a place to eat did not. lol

I called the number of some attorney who handles those types of cases and he said he’d only ever been able to get one person with Meniere’s SSDI.... that unless I had a doctor who straight up said “I want to you file for disability” I would not likely get it. Two years ago when the doctors had sent me back to work I did not want to go. I mean I did.... I wanted to work but I was unsure because of the dizziness. I did feel some kind of threshold lift and things got easier but no further progress since. I still feel like a danger to myself and others. I don’t think I could get a doctor to support me applying for disability. “Could I apply for disability while working?” No, I will be denied if there is any overlap and I should be prepared for at least 18 months without an income. ..... Well, at least I finally got that question answered. Sounds like until I get a doc on board 100% there is no point in applying and because this dizziness is like being on a boat and not like vertigo they will say I’m good to work.

Here I am already thinking about my conversations with a doctor in 12 days.... in a month.... in 4 months.... sigh The other thing to do would be to have them put me on a restriction saying I have to be able to sit. I thought I had that but did not. If that were the case there is only 1 of 6 jobs I can do and I’m cool with that.... that’s how it’s been pretty much since I got back October 2019.... it’s the job that gets me the least sick..... but if not then what? If .... when that comes up.... when it’s time to go back.... I sill won’t be able to do what they were asking of me.... then quit? $25 an hour? for nothing.....

I need to figure out how to enjoy this time I’ve been given. Not to worry so much about when I have to go back but do what I can to help my future self.... yoga? more vestibular therapy? I’ve been out one week ..... I haven’t even made that list I said I was going to make about what I’d like to accomplish during this time off.

Today’s plan is.... laundry, dishes, MTurk, video games, maybe pull out some diamond painting .... I don’t know.