On Porn. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

All things considered, if it weren't for internet porn, I'd be vastly undereducated in the Sexual Arts and Sciences. Of course, it's more than just porn, but shh, I like being lewd and fucking with the censors.

As someone with half a brain, copious viewing of porn led me to realize, without any major "ah ha!" moment that all bodies are different, all genitals are different, and there is no one standard for being okay. Early porn exploration was motivated by the very simple question, "What does vulva look like?" And very quickly I noticed, very matter-of-factly, that they're all different.

(Okay, headspace was probably closer to "What do girls .. look like?" but shhh.)

It's one thing to tell someone, "Shh, you're okay, all bodies are different." It's quite another to have this be my default perspective from the start. A lot of people need to be TOLD that all bodies are different. I would notice, "Wow, that guy's dick is ugly and he's getting paid to fuck. What the hell." Oh sure, all guys have a size complex, but in terms of composition, porn taught me that all varieties of cock are good enough to get paid to fuck.

And hell, even in terms of size, we've all watched porn and thought, "Wow, his penis is kind of small, who hired him." Now shh about porn being close to reality or having realistic people. Anyone with half a brain knows they're ACTORS.

But I suppose that's the argument I'm rallying against, this idea that anyone would, by default, absorb pornographic culture and assimilate it as fact rather than just fiction. Nobody watches Star Trek and says, "This must be current reality!" Only an idiot watches porn, thinking it's like real life. And if parents are worried their kids will get the wrong idea about sex, jesus, fucking tell them porn stars are PAID ACTORS and that scenes are generally NOT LIKE REAL LIFE.

To be clear, I had next to no other sexual instruction as a child. Er. Let's replace that word and say Sexual Education. There, better. I had no sexual education. My parents never talked to me. You can pretty much count out school. And, while it would have been skewed secondhand information, I had no "expert" friends educating me. I'd be living in the goddamned dark ages if it weren't for the internet.

And yes, it was far more than pornography which educated me. I read, I read a lot, any website that had any information on anatomy or masturbation or "how to pleasure a woman" or ANYTHING. I'm immensely happy that http://www.jackinworld.com/ is still around. Who the hell is going to educate you on the variety of ways to masturbate? WHO? Or detail, at length, ways to perform cunnilingus? Or detail female anatomy beyond the horrors of menstruation? (Which, education of, I bet is still spotty, no pun intended.)

The internet taught me all bodies are different, a fact so default I forget some people are insecure about just being themselves. It taught me anatomy, it taught me about STDs, it taught me about safe sex, it taught me how to masturbate and pleasure my partners. It taught me how ideas (erotica) are hotter than visuals. It allowed me to explore my sexuality (headspace) in a safe environment. Think of it in terms of noticing what you tend to think about while masturbating. Or that moment when you're introduced to a new kink and look down, "Wow, there's a reaction I wasn't expecting!"

If it weren't for the internet, I wouldn't understand what female arousal is, or how it differs typically from male arousal. Think about how useful that kind of information is. I wouldn't understand refractory period. I wouldn't KNOW that arousal, erection, ejaculation, AND orgasm are all four separate (albeit interrelated) processes and can all happen in the absence of another. I wouldn't know how to get your bra size measured. I wouldn't know how to properly prepare for anal sex. I wouldn't know explicitly the importance of consent, how one can give consent, or explicitly how "maybe means no." I WOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT FORESKIN RESTORATION. I wouldn't know a lot of knowledge that is so ingrained in me that I probably take it for granted.

Thank you, internet. :: hugs the internet ::