Feeling lazy. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I have the money to get my gym membership and I was going to go today but then decided it would be better to lay in my comfy bed and play on my phone for a couple of hours and really don't have time now because I have to go to Walmart for these weight loss shakes that my friend told me about that would help surpress my hunger, some natural diet pills and I have to get more internet for my phone. I do however plan to go tomorrow. I am still adjusting to not having homework and going to school so I like having this extra free time during the day.

Work is going okay. I do however have this thing where if I feel like someone has gotten rude with me, I let it bring me down to the point where I get really quiet and don't want to talk for the rest of the day. I wasn't even on the clock yesterday and I was telling my friend about some stuff that had been going on since she had been gone a couple of days and my manager rudely told me to not talk about it on the clock whatever. I knew I shouldn't have but for him to be that rude to me honestly made me want to just go home and not worry about clocking on! He was the one that I used to really like and would think about instead of thinking about my ex but now, I know he's a really big asshole and if I would have ever dated him I probably would have killed myself. He's not that nice guy that I once thought he was. Then my friend that I had talked to about gossip got rude with me later on and then later she said something about it seemed like I was ticked off and I told her I was fine but I have realized I just don't care about having friends outside of work anymore and actually don't plan to hang out with her at all, or even talk to her any more than I have to while we are working. She's another one that I have kinda opened up to and thought was an actual human being but she's really not.

Sometimes I wonder if I really like the people I work with or I've just convinced myself that I do so I can tolerate having to be around them so much. I don't think I'm actually too fond of any of them. I think I just made myself believe they liked and cared for me just because I had no one else for so long. Most of them just irritate me because they are either stupid or rude. I think I tried to like all of them in the beginning and wanted to have relationships with them outside of work but I'm good. I actually don't like hanging out with anyone other than my niece because I feel like none of them will probably be around for too long so why waste the energy?

I felt that once school was out, I would have more energy to get shit done but it's like I just enjoy my free time. This is only the 2nd week that school has been out and I know that if I want to start losing weight, I need to get to the gym right away but I love being able to sleep until noon, and then just hang out until it's time to go to work. I also like not having to be at work as much. I feel like I'm on a small vacation even though I still work 5 nights a week.

I gotta start getting ready to go. I really do plan on going to the gym tomorrow. I'm nervous because I know I won't be able to do as much as I want but I gotta start somewhere. It sucks that I don't get food stamps anymore so my food budget is small and I can't buy all the healthy stuff I want and I'm also going to have a huge light bill in the next few days too. I just wish I made more money.

Anyway, time to get ready to go.