more complaining in Second 1st

I laid back down before Rocky left for work. I felt his hand on my thigh sliding up to my head then he leaned in and kissed me I reached up and grabbed his head and hugged it over my shoulder..... but I can’t remember, was that a dream or real. I was sleeping wasn’t I? I heard the door alarm when he left, just then? or 20 mins later, I don’t know. I slept till almost 10.

Both Rocky and Tamara messaged me checking if I’m okay. I’m not.... This is the normal bullshit being dizzy, headache.... nausea… but I’m just mentally not okay today. I haven’t done anything but MTurk and listening to Critical Role on Youtube. .... I guess it’s kinda productive.... catching up on the podcast.... Listening to/watching the “wrap up” of Exandria Unlimited.

I don’t hurt as much as I did this morning but I wouldn’t say the headache is gone either. Still dizzy, it’s still raining. My ears hurt with pressure.... not just my bad ear… it’s scares me when it happens. to think I could go bilateral.... to think I may have to go through what I’ve gone through all over again and more.... ....

It’s 4:15 and I’m really thinking about going back to bed. I’m mentally tired. I’m so mentally tired. I’ll be better in the morning. I know it. I have to. I play back all the things.... how it seems no matter what I do I still have bad days. That I’ve told the docs “I still get dizzy” and they say “you can work” and then I just end up calling out because I can’t even GET to work ..... it’s whatever....

Don’t mind me I’m just unwell. It will pass.... it has to. I’m going to go to bed earlier than usual.... maybe another hour or so.... maybe some games on my phone .... but asleep by 6ish.... giving myself 2 extra hours of sleep.

That’s enough…