A Nerve Has Been Struck in Living in a World Without Faith

You know, something's been eating at me and I've put a lot of thought into it. Actually, I've wasted a lot of useful time thinking about it. It really shouldn't bother me, but it's digging at my last fucking nerve. It's time for me to step out of my comfort zone and speak out on a subject I try to avoid on all but rare occasions. It's time for me to reveal my true beliefs. Or the lack of...

Some time ago, there was an overload on Facebook of people asshurt over the "Schmuck Dynasty Controversy". It eventually sparked my two cents and I made the statement "God doesn't exist". I was bombed with messages and comments about how they were "sorry I feel that way" or "they'll pray for me" and my favorite, might I add, "I'll burn in hell if I don't change my ways". Some were more polite than others. Some were quite subtle in their self righteous guilt trip. To be quite honest folks, it won't change my point of view on the subject.

First off, don't look down at me and tell me "I'm sorry you feel that way". Because I'm not. BUT I am in fact sorry I wasted so many years trying to believe in a bunch of fables and fairy tales. I wasted countless hours on the subject trying, hell in some cases begging for something to help me understand certain things. In the end, that's all it is. It's simply a fable, or a myth, if you wish to call it by another name. The Romans didn't call their beliefs a myth. They called it a belief or a religion. And you know what? It's now called a primitive myth. A thousand years from now, if the human race hasn't wasted itself into extinction, Christianity and various other beliefs are simply going to be called "mythology". So don't pity me because of my lack of beliefs and I won't make you question yours.

Secondly. If you want to pray for me for my benefit, don't. If it makes you feel better, if that's your way to make it through the day, please pray 'til your knees bleed. But don't tell me that you're praying for me. I did enough praying for one lifetime and it got me jack-shit. A prayer is simply a wish wrapped in a sugar-coating. And my father told me regularly when I was a kid; "Wish in one hand and shit in the other. See which one fills up the fastest."

You see, I used to try to believe, I really did. I worked my fingers to the bone, tried to follow all the "rules", and practically BEGGED for some way to set my beliefs down the right path. It got me nowhere, might I add. I honestly did try though. But I found that the more I learned about the world, the less I felt that there's anything beyond death other than, well, death. The purest form of NOTHING. Like a bulb that burns it's filament out. Just throw that body into the garden and use it to fertilize some crops or something. And the more I discover about human nature, the pain some inflict, and the suffering others endure, the more hypocrisy I find in religions of a WIDE variety.

But I'll give some the benefit of the doubt. IF there really is a higher power and I have to face their judgement, I'll gladly take my place in "hell". Because I'm going to spit the biggest snotwad I can muster right in their face. I have no tolerance for someone that allows thieves to con people out of their money in their name. I have NO respect for someone that can allow a child to be raped or born with a drug addiction. Last and FAR from being least, I have no patience for someone that sits idle and watched my sister suffer from physical and mental illness for fourty fucking years as she prayed to every deity ever written about for help simply to find herself dying slowly and painfully. Resulting in one addiction after another, trying to cover the pain up. And eventually leading to two attempted suicides and finally a year long struggle to breathe on her own prior to her death. No, that's no friend of mine. If anything, that right there simply makes me into one hell of an enemy.So before you think of wasting your energy, trying to find my "salvation" or looking down at me because I don't believe in your mythos, ask yourself one thing...

Would you really want a motherfucker like me on a warpath, ripping apart your paradise, trying to get their fingers on your "savior" so they can answer for what they've done?