Still - 24.09.13 in Your Face

Still quite depressed. I can't stand this! So many times I have regretted packing M and Ernie off to America, but it would only have been delaying this. There's no other way for me to get my greencard, get the dog settled before it snows and be in the best financial situation.

Oh, God. I hope I can be there with my Ernie when he sees snow for the first time! That shouldn't happen until December, oh God, I need to be there before December ...

Ate pizza with my brother Joel tonight. I often feel cranky with him because of his filthy habits, so it was nice to just hang out for a while. I forget how similar we are with our emotions. He is very depressed, too.

It's a fucking battle. Trying to keep some hope. I spend my days at work smiling and working hard, but 5pm comes and suddenly reality crashes in. All the extra curricular activities in the world can't change that.

Please. I just really need this to come together.