Keep em in Stuff

I’m just going to start writing and see where this goes.

My mental health isn’t the greatest at the moment. The anxiety is more through the proof than the depression is though, so I suppose it’s good to tune in to that somewhat. I was going to get into how complex humans and their systems are but I can’t be bothered. It’s just been a hell of a week I suppose.

On Sunday afternoon at work a fight broke out. The service 100 was called and then the evacuation alarm was triggered too. I saw it from the end of the aisle, thankful that I wasn’t caught up in it. One guy had another in a headlock and was full-on laying punches into his face. The sound of smashed glass was all around them as they were near the registers and shoving each other into everything. It was intense! I heard one of them yell something like, “YOU EVER HIT A WOMAN, I’ll FUCK YOU UP, CUNT!!!”
All I could take from that is maybe a female customer was caught up in the fight at some point, but no idea.

So yeah, my anxiety hasn’t been the best already and then to have to witness that, along with the fuckknuckle who pulled the woman customer’s hair a few days earlier, I was well and truly over that God-damn week and it’s local meth-heads.
Next thing I saw the police in the office downstairs in the manager’s office reviewing footage, and one of my female colleagues looking very stressed, being comforted by her husband who also works at our store. I checked with her to see she was alright. She told me her side of the story, as obviously she was caught up in it behind the registers where they were and she said she just froze. Poor thing.

And of course I’ve been asked to work yet again tomorrow on my day off, but at least I’ll be off at 11am.

I dunno. I’m just in a real rut and lost and freaking out about the future and where I’m gonna live and moving and yet again being depressed about never being in a position for home ownership, and if I even want that given the sheer price gouging that is house prices these days. I realized today that my lease here isn’t even up for another three months, yet I’m already freaking out about it again lol. I am a mess inside my head.
I’m definitely the odd sheep in my two friendship groups - everyone is married and owns houses. I have neither LOL. What a catch I am. And then I go on Grindr and see most guys I have zero interest in and then there’s the occasional few who are that fucking hot that there isn’t a chance in hell. There’s no in-between option. And I never reply to anyone. I even opened up Tinder and matched with one of my friends ex-boyfriends, so yeah that’s probably not a good idea either lol. Granted he is a friend I barely ever speak to these days, but still.
My social skills are shot to hell. That’s nothing new. I definitely need another self-health book. What do I even say? That I’m anxious and sometimes depressed and have no boyfriend, house, car, and a job having to deal with fucking methheads having punch-ups on the sabbath? My two Snapchats I posted this week were both of me whining about work because it was the most interesting thing that happened to me all week.
I was meant to go over to Vish’s tonight but now instead I have to start at 6am tomorrow, so I’ve cancelled that. Vish would probably just annoy me anyway.

I watched two movies today. I figure tuning into other worlds is a way to stop thinking about mine for a few hours. The first was “The Addams Family 2” which I was excited about because I didn’t even know there WAS a second animated one made, and I really liked it. It made me laugh out loud at least 5 times, so that was a good feeling. Unfortunately I followed that movie up with “Old”, which I thought might be okay, but to me it was just a bit of a mess. It only started to get good in the final 10 minutes or so and even then I didn’t like the ending too much. Kind of a cool concept though. Maybe I just need to head to the woods and read a book and get off social media and seeing all these hotties profiles for a while.

Yesterday was “Freedom Day” in NSW, which means the vaccinated have more freedoms. It’s nice seeing the very few Sydney friends I have being able to live their life again somewhat normally. Life is not going to be too fun for the anti-vaxxers in the next few weeks, that’s for sure, as they need to show proof of vaccination to enter most places. My state’s border is still closed until we get our vaccine numbers up, and once that happens I guess our Premier will have to let the zombies in. That will be interesting for sure, as the two most populated states south of us have been learning to live with Covid, and my state has controlled it, yet suddenly we are about to be inundated with it once the borders are flung open, I can only presume.
We’ve had time to vaccinate our citizens (we’re still not at 70% yet) prepare our hospitals and quarantine hubs I suppose, and I can only hope our state government has got it right. I know our premier is concerned about the under 12 age group. We might even be like Western Australia and not open until April (so I heard).
I’ve been very amused seeing American media say that Australia is under Martial Law LOL. Even more amusing seeing 2nd-Amendment-Proud Americans having a go in the comments saying we’ve “had our gun rights taken away from us”. Fucking EYE ROLL. You can keep your guns, thanks, ‘Murica!