automatic in 2013-2014

The editing thing is going swimmingly. It's a fun challenge, since some of the translations come in very sloppy and rough. I look forward to working up to doing full translations. Aww yeah. I did decline having my name credited as an editor... as much as I would like to be able to be like, yeah, I did this and have writing samples, it feels self-centered when this is a full, group, volunteer outlet.

Applied for another two jobs today. Starting to feel fatalistic and desperate. I also tried to sell my nicer clothes to Plato's Closet and they wouldn't take a single thing. The clothes I buy in the junior section are apparently not for teenagers. Judging by the inventory, though, I think I just lacked pastel flower patterns on weak polyester blends. Gross. Oh well. The women's shelter is getting about four bags of clothes and accessories from me, then. Every single one of my cash-making ideas has officially tanked, and every leasing office I can find wants about $800 just to get the keys, let alone first month's rent. Can has miracle? I keep telling myself that it just leaves more room for God to pull off something amazing, but I'm not sure I'm hearing myself.

(I just love that I'm too 'off beat' for hipster Athens. LOL. Right.)

Conversely, I was really driven to pack tonight. I was trying to do fun relaxing things on my computer after my short nap, but couldn't focus or care at all. I ended up going upstairs and packing away Christmas stuff, Legos, books, posters, and adventure memorabilia. I've taken things off the walls and completely freaked out the cat, who clung, trolled the dog, got stoned on catnip, and has vanished somewhere to sleep off her high. I'm bringing the posters (originally Aaron's, from when he worked at a movie theater in LA) and the Legos to Charleston this weekend. That will be nice, because Legos are a bitch to move.

At some point very soon, I'm going to have to sit down with a bunch of old journals and mementos from my childhood and decide which to throw away. There's a lot I want to keep because it hurts to toss that stuff, so I rationalize it with I can give it to my children. But a lot of it I brought with me from Florida, and I haven't even fully unpacked it in the four years I've lived here--which means it matters exactly nothing to me. It feels like blasphemy to toss a handwritten diary, but what am I going to do with it? How long do I want to hang onto an awkward adolescent past? When I move in with Aaron, how am I going to justify more junk? Emergency kindling?

There are some stuffed animals and little things that I've had for as long as I can remember. I still have my very first teddy bear. Those things I'm keeping, definitely. But my favorite toys growing up... I think it's time to let them go. I won't miss them. I never think of them or look at them. My kids are like, 5-6-7 years in the future. And there are kids now who would probably like them. It's hard to hang on to that stuff for a nebulous future when the poverty rate in town is like 40% or something obscene.

I'm going to rain a metric shit-ton of toys and clothes and stuff on the women's clinic. I chose them because their thrift store is a book haven (CHILDHOOD CLASSICS AND EPIC THINGS FOR FIFTY CENTS), and because their clients can shop for free.

I got back on the wagon and worked out four days in a row. It felt fantastic, even if yesterday Godiva hot chocolate mix poisoned me. It did not list milk as an ingredient. It had the evil milk powder that is also present in cheese crackers. I spent all day gurgling and cramping and bemoaning the great betrayal. You're dead to me, Godiva. Even still, I logged a good circuit training with the 8-pound weights. I probably could have squeezed in a run before the rain tonight, but I was really tired (go figure) and had a headache. We have the Warrior Dash this weekend. There's really no use in burning myself out. My hamstring finally settled down, but my calf is acting up, so resting up and carb loading is prooobably what I need to do.

I'm pretty excited about our adventure. We haven't gone on one in a good long time. Also on deck this weekend is talking to leasing offices in person, a meeting at church to discuss wedding stuff/dates (!!), and he wants to take me to see Godzilla, but I'm not sure where that's going to fit in. Our Saturday adventure will take almost all day since we're driving up to Charlotte for it. We'll see. I don't want to schedule every hour of the trip--I want lazy cuddle time, too.

Sheppy jumped off the bed wrong (or something) over the weekend and has been lame since. His left front leg is slowly recovering, but he still limps noticeably. He tried to trot on our walk this evening, which is definitely progress. The challenge is that he is disturbed/in mild pain, so he's licking the hell out of that foot and is getting spit and diluted blood on my bed. I keep a blanket on the bed just for that reason, but still. Rachel will be watching him this weekend, and she'll have almost nothing to do but feed him. He's not too keen on walks while he's lame.

Furthermore, I have confirmed the hobo nest down the hill. It's progressively more organized, to the point where there is now a large plastic bin with neatly stacked dishes. Looks pretty habitable to me. We are definitely not walking down there after dark. I'm not so much afraid for my safety (yay large dog!) as much as it's utterly creepy to think someone could be watching me watch my dog poop. That, and I'm just not a fan of walking into situations like that.

Over all, things are moving slowly, or not at all, and time is flying. It's the fifteenth of May. What? Where did that come from? Sara's wedding is the 31st. So much damn driving, ugh. We haven't even planned for it because we don't know where I'll be! This is so maddening.

I got a note on my door, along with an enormous reusable recycling bag, which is pretty cool and means I can quit using grocery bags. My apartment complex was bought out (again). This time, they mean business. They mean so much business that they are fully renovating all the interiors within the next 12 months and will "get in touch personally to discuss residency options." Whatever that means. I had planned on getting some paint and new cheap blinds from Lowe's to replace thumb tack and Lena damage in hopes of getting my full security deposit back, but when I went in to ask the new management, she said that they would be fully gutting my place as soon as I move out. To the point where I don't even have to deep clean. Vacuum, sweep, and surface clean, she said. Wipe out the oven and call it a day. Holy crap. With all the discouragement around me, that was a gift from God.

Ahh, I hate transition stages. And headaches. Transition stages and waiting games are headaches.

It's almost 12:30, which means bedtime for me. Sorry for the disjointed entry.