SeptemboMo Day 18 in SeptemboMo

Write about something or someone to forgive.

To you my beautiful mistake, my shotgun sunrise.

Oh, be my once in a lifetime
Lying on your chest, in my party dress
I’m a fucking mess but I
Oh, thanks for the high life
Baby, it’s the best, that’s a test
And yes, now I’m here with you and I
Would like to think that you would stick around
You know that I’d just die to make you proud
The taste, the touch, the way we love
It all comes down to make the sound of our love song

Why did you choose to ruin everything for the both of us? Just so you could achieve your dream tragedy and melancholy?
There were six years between us. We were inseparable, best friends and a step beyond.
What you think the natural course of action was for two people who literally spend every waking moment together and complain about a day having only such short hours.
I told you I loved you and I was ready to change my entire life for you. There was no second thought. Your happiness was priority. I asked you to marry me and you said no. only to change your mind next day when you realized you were losing me and then ruined everything because it was on your terms.
You chose to lie to me, “I just don’t want to lose you. I thought if I say yes, you’d stay”.
I understand you needed me more than you loved me, but was all this malice really necessary? Why couldn’t I be just a boy who loved a girl.
I told you I loved you coz your presence made me calm, your existence gave mine meaning and when you were around, everything was just alright.
And what was your reply to that “yea I have none of those feelings for you, I want be with someone I love”.
And then what? 3 failed engagements and you marry someone you’ve known only for a few months?
Alright, you had your issues, I had mine, but I never lied to you. You lied, so much.
Did any of that matter in the end, ultimately?
And you did manage to get your tragic end like you so desperately wanted. Been almost a decade and you’re nowhere close to being the person you wanted to be professionally or personally. I can only hope you find happiness in whatever decisions you make, coz all your decisions were absolute disaster for the both of us.

To you, my Warrior Goddess, My Valkyrie and my muse.

She’s not the kind of girl
Who likes to tell the world
About the way she feels about herself
She takes a little time
In making up her mind
She doesn’t want to fight against the tide

You are tall, and you seriously underestimate the reach of your arms and how hard you can punch. The only thing more threatening was that cynical chuckle you did, which was always accurately placed. So painfully playful.
You burned on the inside, fiercely, passionately and only treated my presence as an intruder in your land. It was so difficult to close the gap between us, but it was thrilling and it was worth it.
I wish I could’ve seen you for who you were, I only dwelled in my sorrows. I wish I had dwelled in possibilities.
You scared me, for all the right reasons. I was cautious, I watched my step and above all, I had no courage to challenge you.
Four days before your marriage you told me that you would’ve said yes if I had asked to marry you.
You are a regret I refuse to let go. Every time you message me to ask how I’m doing but rarely ever reply, its like I’m just trying to control my ship in a storm, only to realize my ship is anchored and all this commotion is the rattling of my insecurities and shortcomings.

To you, my dark phoenix, my tightrope.

Take a chance we can dance up in mid-air
Feel so good, I could die, but I don’t care
Walk slow and low on a tightrope
Hope it lasts but you know, you never know
we’re just a step from fearless
Reach out for me my dearest, don’t you cry
You don’t know, you’re almost near it

We were combined in revenge, there was no other reason why we should’ve ever met. Violet left for Canada and we were left alone together. Not knowing any better, we tore each other up and loved every minute of it. I can’t even begin to imagine the possibilities between us, it seemed almost too perfect. and it was. it was darker than it should’ve been. but we both just kept burning bridges until there was nothing left but ourselves.
Then everything went wrong, and kept going wrong for years. Two years we didn’t speak. 5 years we didn’t say more than few words to each other. I’m watching you growing old wondering what could’ve been. I’m growing old too.

Last updated September 18, 2021