Toe Trauma Day 2 in The Day To Day Ramblings

After writing yesterday and running my scenario by some coworkers, it was evident I would need to call in for work today. I did that before going to bed and immediately felt better. I knew I would be risking my own health and I'd be too slow to help my patients with any sort of efficiency or speed so I was making the right choice. If I couldn't get from the couch to the bathroom by myself there was no way I was doing that for another person much less doing CPR or pushing a bed to a procedure or being able to do my job well. No guilt in calling in. I was better off at home.

I crawled upstairs (literally - on hands and knees due to the pain!), took some Tylenol, propped my feet up high on a stack of pillows and had the best night of sleep I've had in awhile. Woke up and my feet didn't even hurt! Hoorah!

Oh but then. Then I tried to roll over and lower my feet from above my head and the throbbing. It was incredible! It was like tiny knives were implanted in both of my big toes with every heartbeat and burrowing their way out through my skin. I tried to walk on the heels of my feet and shuffle step to the bathroom but simply putting pressure on my feet at all was excruciating. Back to crawling.

My beloved husband hadn't left for work yet so he helped me limp/crawl/shuffle down the stairs with my blanket and my pillow and into my favorite spot on the couch. He made me breakfast <3 and set me up with my laptop and the charger plugged in and the TV remote and some snacks and went off to work. He even said "If you need anything, I only work 10 minutes away! I can come back! Even if you just have an itch you can't reach!" Too cute. :)

The throbbing was okay if I kept my feet elevated but I just couldn't do that indefinitely. Add in that I'm a busybody normally and always on the go and 90 minutes into my 'couch rest' and I was antsy to do something else. I made the executive decision to take my dressings off 6 hours early and just see if that would help. I hobbled upstairs to the bathtub and soaked my feet for 10 minutes. I had been warned that the gauze wrapped around them would be bloody so soaking it would help make the removal process easier.

Well let me tell you. I have dealt with pain. I have done many a dressing change in my day. I have seen blood. Nothing like this. The pain was so bad as I unwound the tape that I actually leaned over into the garage can and vomited. I threw up from pain! That's a first. But I gritted my teeth and though it took me 30 full minutes simply to unwrap a little tape around each toe, I did it - piece by piece with lots of deep breaths. I nearly passed out, I saw stars, I was sweaty and short of breath and perhaps even in a different mental universe...but I did it. The moment I peeled the gauze off, the tub water was instantly pink. The bleeding started.

But oh the relief! The pressure dressings the podiatrist had wrapped on there had been tamponading the bleeding but also pressing firmly on that tender, delicate skin beneath. Taking off that pressure was the best I'd felt since the procedure. I pulled my legs out of the water, held (very, very) light pressure with a towel wrapped around my feet and I crawled back downstairs to elevate my feet again. Thankfully Rob had left me set up with a First Aid kit per my request that morning so after letting them be elevated for an hour and the bleeding stopping, I rewrapped them more loosely with gauze and antibiotic ointment and nonadherent vaseline gauze and I could walk around without pain!

I called Rob at work and my parents at home and texted some friends...this was a miracle!! To simply not feel pain is a joy known only to those who have felt it. Now, I totally get it: it was toenail surgery, it was not brain surgery or child birth or an actual legitimate operation...but all things relative? I could have skipped around the house I felt so much better!

Of course they have been a bit achey as the day has gone on but I was able to (very, very carefully) put on tennis shoes and take the dog for a walk and get my 10,000 daily steps in on the treadmill (very, very slowly) downstairs and I don't feel like a broken, hobbling, miserable, pathetic little mess anymore. I just might survive after all.

Stay tuned for actual life updates about things other than my feet or bleeding or gross procedures done to disgusting parts of the body. You guys are champs for reading this far. Thanks for being awesome :)