Just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby in The OpenDiary (OD) Days!

Just a sweet sweet fantasy, baby - 9/25/2005

I don't know what's wrong with me.  I think about him way more than i know I should, and I wouldn't be surprised if I freak him out.  I've said to him that I feel like I'm a stalker sometimes, even though I know I'm not, and he said yeah he agrees but I'm a stalker he wants to kee around. Haha, he was kidding.  I hope. 

Last night was the Garbage concert.  Oh my fucking god is all I gotta say.  That was absolutely INCREDIBLE!!!  I had the best time and I reckon that they are the best band I've ever seen live.  He had front row tickets so I spent a while talking to him in the front row, before the people who owned the front row tickets turned up to claim their seats.  I hugged him goodbye and told him to enjoy the concert.  I went back to my seat, 11 rows back.  I could see where he was sitting from where I was.  He was worried that the crowd wouldn't stand up cos it was a seated concert, and I'm glad I was right when I told him the crowd would.  The first song, everyone stood up.  It looked like a near packed house, at the Convention Centre at Southbank.  He told me all about the band members and I got to see Shirley's awesome mic stand, that she had especially made in Europe somewhere.  They sang SO many songs that I knew, both from previous times growing up and from the albums I own of theirs.  He was going nuts in the front row.  haha.  I think the whole experience of Gargabe, plus hanging out with him before and after the concert totally made my night!  We went and got pancakes afterwards and caught our respective trains home, in opposite directions.  I so wanted to catch his train home with him, or vice versa, but he said his dad probably wouldn't like it very much if he went to wake him up and saw us sleeping together.  Hopefully in my new place.

Speaking of my new place, today I made a start on packing.  I went and picked up my gay mate Michael from Garden City.  I seriously haven't seen him or hung out with him in nearly a year.  It was so good to see him.  He helped me pack some of my clothes and saw the cruddy place I live in now.  He said I wasn't kidding when I said it was small haha.  Luke and I had a wrestling fight and he picked me up.  Things were going well, when Luke's mirror fell and smashed all over his bedroom floor.  I made the 7 years of bad luck joke but helped him clean it up before someone stood in it.  Luke later informed me that some god stuck in his knee, went through his jeans.  Mick decided that Luke was a total hottie.  He really was.  Luke and Mick hadn't met before today though.  Seemed to get along well.

So I have two boxes of clothes next to me.  I don't really have that much else to pack.  Tomorrow is the second day of my weekend for me, and Neville will be home, so I'll call him and take over some crap.  Probably my clothes first, then my appliances and tv and crap.  I dropped Mick home today, hugged him goodbye, and I hope we'll hang out again.  I'm amazed how much he's changed since I saw him last.  He's really into being gay these days, wheras last time it was really touchy.  He even watched some porn on my computer!  Not that I have much, only a little bit.  I'm trying to track down a Dreamboys book I bought for him bout a year ago, but he couldn't take it home then.  Nowadays i think he's more brave to.  I just gotta try to think what I did with it.

I called into John's house of my way home in Mt Gravatt.  Glad I caught him before he headed off to church.  he invited me to go but I don't really feel like it.  I'm sitting here having just watched 'Australia's Brainiest kid', and currently watching "Australian Idol".  This will be good, love Aussie idol, got no idea who will win it though! Moving tomorrow, God I'm nervous.  I'll be without the internet for about a week I'm guessing.  Hope it all works out.

Speaking of 'Idol's', I heard on the radio today that Rogue Traders will be supporting kelly Clarkson on her tour here!!!  That has definitely given me more incentive to go.  I was thinking about it before, but now I'm really considering it.  Rogue Traders are fricking amazing.  i really like Garbage's support band last night also - Silo their name was.  Two chicks, who were hot as, and one guy on drums.  Really good music!  I think I'm gunna look for their CD when I actually get all this moving crap over with.  I think I'm just settling into this weekend but it's probably gunna go fast cos I'll be rushing around.  Johnny's coming over tomorrow morning to help me move.  He offered also, but he'll be at work :(  Oh well.  I just cant wait to see him again.

I dunno what's wrong with me.  Yes i know that's the second time I've written that, but I don't.  I'm back into this rut where I absolutely adore a guy and can't stop thinking about them.  I'm not at an obsessive stage, and I hope there won't be a 'yet' added to that, but I'm definitely smitten.  I love that word, sounds so cute, like kitten haha.  I love spending time with him and last night I was amazed by him, just everything he was telling me, like I dunno, like I wanted to know everything to do with him.  I know that sounds weird, and I probably didn't word it right, but at least I think I know what I mean.  Haha, see, that sentence didn't even make sense.  He kissed me at the train station, and I told him I'd been waiting for him to do that all night.  We did it in front of everyone.  Haha, he is brave, and I LOVE it.  I love public affection, and I know there's a risky danger to it almost.  He had his head on my shoulder on the seats as we were waiting for our trains.  His train was delayed, so mine ended up arriving first.  He kissed me again, and we hugged goodbye and told me to msg him when I got home.  He always says that, and its totally sweet that he does.  I was waiting to get dirty looks from passengers on the train cos they woulda saw me kiss another guy, but I didn't seem to.  Guess everyone was tired and wanted to get home - it was a 12:32am train I guess.  I was hoping thewy'd be 24 hours, but apaprently not yet.  Can't wait for the 24 hour trains and buses to start on weekends.

I think I thought about my Garbage experience and how amazing it was all the way home, humming my favourites to myself all the way.  And thinking about him.  I worry that I'm liking him way way way way more than he likes me, and because of that, I'm moving way too fast.  We're taking things slow, and I'm on a verge of fucking it up by being too clingy.  I can't help it though.  I just want to be with him.  And hug him.  I hope that when we talk about laying in bed together at my new place, cuddling, that it will happen.  That we will be able to cuddle in bed watching a DVD.  That we'll talk about anything like we usually do.  Wow, what a thought, what a fantasy. 

But that concert was DAMN good!!

Notes: --------------------------------------------------------------------

dammit I wanted to see Garbage tear. Yeah I read Rogue Traders were supporting Kelly, I really wanna go but 1 dunno if I'll be here then, and 2 really need to start saving, so if you go you gotta call me during it! lol [SinderellaX] 9/25/2005 6:05:25 AM

you're so giddy over him. I wish I still believed in love [.Konstantine.] [p] 9/25/2005 6:35:15 AM

Being a stalker could be a good thing?

lol Huggs [Mermy] 9/25/2005 6:57:52 AM

you're right, smitten is cute. like kitten, :)

aw, matt, don't worry too much about him. he likes you just as much, he's just being all subtle and mysterious. in a week or so he's going to do something grand and romantic: my crystal ball said so.

RYN: Haha, mate, you're right, you guys are closer. I'll try to see something online. I think you're adorable, too, kiss [Nesstwy.] [p] 9/25/2005 7:14:22 AM

Hun - seriously - I don't see why you are SO worried about kissing in public. I think it's adorable. Seriously hun - we should meet up :o))) [Ezra_Medic] 9/25/2005 7:44:22 AM

Stooopid Girl! That song is playing in my head! Doesn't Garbage sing that song? Geez it has been too long since I have heard them on the radio. Sounds like u had a blast. From what u wirte in ur entries it sounds like He is into you. Why don't u just go for it? What have u got to lose? [3daygomer] [p] 9/25/2005 8:55:44 AM

it sounds sweet. i really hope your fantasy does come true! :) [EternallyHopeful] 9/25/2005 9:01:37 AM

How cute! :) [CollegeDude84] 9/25/2005 9:55:49 AM

Hey Matt glad to hear you liked the concert so much. And yeah I've got some porn on my conputer too but not much. Brian likes to look at it sometimes then he gets super horny. lol Hey you know how that goes. And buddy good luck with "him."

Hugs,

Ben [Taste The Rain Bow] 9/25/2005 11:18:44 AM

Awwwwwww! Thas adorable. I am soo happy for you baby doll. Ohh gosh it makes me feel like cuddling myself! hehehe :) [SeNtInAlLoVe] 9/25/2005 11:54:27 AM

Mariah. Her "Fantasy" album was by far the best ever. Her voice used to make me ache, especially at 3am when my muse was being passionate.

Take care dear boy.

P.S - He should be flattered your stalking him. =) [October Boy] 9/25/2005 12:23:31 PM

So I guess we won't be seeing you around until you are moved in and settled. Moving sucks. Never realise how much junk you have until you move it. Then it takes a week to unpack and put it all away. Will you and Luke keep in touch? Who is taking the birds and fishy? Or do you guys have joint custody? :-) Glad you enjoyed the concert.

Jeff [mobyduck] 9/25/2005 1:26:18 PM

Well it sounds like you had a completely awesome time!!!

Yay for you.

Hugs,

-James [Beez] 9/25/2005 1:45:05 PM

why are all the cute gay boys falling in like with guys that aren't me?!!!!!!!!!! baaaaaaaaaah! y'know . . . i'm going to get a girlfriend. ewwwww? i hope she has a nice rack, because vaginas are weird. and gross. :-\

[Prince Zidane] [p] 9/25/2005 1:48:58 PM

i dont think that you are being stalkerish... you are crushing on a guy and thats normal to feel that way. wanting to be with him and imagining being with him, feeling him, kissing him...hun, its all normal emotions! Now, if you were to be running to his house, peeping in his windows, taking photographs while he wasnt aware, making a secret shrine in your closet...now that would be stalkerish! 9/25/2005 3:32:10 PM

but the feelings that you are having now...not stalkerish. it is kinda strange that you have told him that you feel stalkerish. but anyways, i am glad that you had fun at the concert. and that you are getting into your new place. :) talk to you soon.

Stephanie [SinginStephie] 9/25/2005 3:34:37 PM

good luck with the rest of your packing and moving. oh yeah, and good luck with him too. Hang in there buddy, I don't think he would ever think you are clingy. You're too good a guy. [C-Dub85] 9/25/2005 5:36:44 PM

wow. it sounds like we feel exactly the same way about guys.... nice to know there's someone else out there. as for me, i am at the obsessed stage, now!!! ughhhhh [LegallyGay80] 9/25/2005 5:59:01 PM

Damn I got to start going to see live music and shite again. But I'm saving to get a motorbike! Having my mid-life crisis early! [TheBlindArcher] 9/25/2005 6:20:24 PM

wow im on your favorites. PHI ALPHA GAMMA.

DRINK UP, PLEDGE! [Godless Sodomite] 9/25/2005 10:13:07 PM

garbagE? im jealous. make me happy with your body. now you drop those sweat pants right now!

[Godless Sodomite] 9/25/2005 10:14:22 PM

So cool that your concert was amazing! I've only been to 2....yes, my friend 2 concerts. one was an N'Sync concert back in 9th grade and the other was Josh Groban, that was 2 summers ago, but by far the best concert. I hope you get your internet back up soon. i know i couldnt live without it for too long. :~) have a great monday! [PetiteAnge] [p] 9/26/2005 1:01:32 AM

garbage are awesome live!!! And dont worry so much about how much you like this guy. Yes you are smitten...enjoy it!! x [magicalbeans] 9/26/2005 9:16:09 AM

You guys are getting 24 hour trains up there??? No friggin way! Our public transport's absolutely crap, they can't even organise the ones that run during the day.

Anyway, glad to hear everything's going great with him :) Enjoy the mushy parts, it's the best bit! [theotherme] 9/26/2005 10:12:29 AM

Last updated May 13, 2014