Working 9 to 5 *breaks into song* in The OpenDiary (OD) Days!

'workin' 9 to 5...' (breaks into song) - 8/19/2005

The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, don't reject the guy outright.

So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. After a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."

The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have."

Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."

The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone and calls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."

Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes,looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch penis."

The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. I cut."

Gosh I can't even remember what jokes I've previously used and what ones I haven't.  Ah well.  This one's funny anyway.

Life's an interesting responsibilty to have.  It really is.  It's amazing how one day you can be on top of the world, the next down in the dumps, the next getting married, the next having kids, the next having a md-life crisis, then on your death bed, wishing you'd done more with your life.  I dunno why I jsut typed that, just on my mind as I kept typing I guess.  When I write an OD entry, I don't necessarily have anything I plan on writing, I just write as I go along, trying to remember the details of what I have, or haven't, been up to.

My latest thoughts have been the working life.  The grueling 9-5 shift that the majority of the world seems to be stuck in a rut.  We've all heard of the get-rich-quick schemes, but do they ever work?  What's the chance of winning the lottery?  What's the chance of being able to understand the stock market in the first place, let alone being able to amke money out of it or having enough to even make a start in it?  I dunno, I guess what brings this up is a part of my meaning-of-life queries.  Does life really mean I have to work for a company/ies to make money for the rest of my life?  i mean, when you think about it, how mundane!  I always think I wanna do something different.  I've had a few jobs, but most have centered around retail, which isn't bad, but one was cotton-chipping.  That was hard work but I did enjoy it.  4am starts when it was still pitch dark outside and having to chop weeds out of paddocks in amongst the crops.  Gosh I remember those days.  Think I was 16 at the time.  But I mean I've been thinking I want to try something different.  I mean I don't now but I do soon.  Something...different, out of my comfort zone even.  I was looking at auditioning or being part of a gay television series that's apparently being filmed here in Brisbane, but 1/ I'm no actor 2/ have no experience and 3/no nothing about the show or even that it existed until today.  But I mean, now THAT would be different.  Doesn't mean I'll be doing that but something wildly different.  And no it's not a porn show haha.  I wonder how much they pay? j/k  God I'd never do porn, how sleazy.  Actually what am I talking about? Me on tv?  haha highly doubtful.  I wouldn't even know how to get into the industry, beats me how the others do, they must know ppl.  Or sleep with them. 

I woke up way too early today.  It feels like I've been up for ages and I've got a work-day to get through yet.  Oh well only two days til the weekend.  My phone's gone off three times already this morning, the first two being my friend, also ex, telling me about his guy problems.  I have no issues with that, most gay guys have guy problems.  Cos men are wankers lol.  Hey I'm admitting it, they are.  Not all, but most.  It's like Robin Williams said in his dvd (which I might add is the Funniest thing ever), "The problem is God gave men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to use one at a time."  hahaha.  Yes I'll vouge for that.  wow I've never used that word before and am not even usre if I spelt it right :)  Work went really fast yesterday though, so hopefully today will be the same.  Then tomorrow to get through, and my straight friend wants to go clubbing in the city.  He actually mentioned the beat, so that's really scary he wants to go to the gay club haha.  Gosh no way I even want to think about him being gay lol ewwww, sorry!  He can stick with the chicks.

I've been reading some very interesting diaries lately.  I mean most of the time I do, but wow you guys have awesome lives!  And it's amazing how wildly different each and every single one I read is!  I'm having trouble keeping up to date noting everyone, my fav's list just keeps growing!  I'm so glad I found this site hey, I can be myself and not give a damn.  I mean sometimes I think that one day it will come back to bite me in the ass, but hey, ya get that.  At least I have my memories.  I was even thinking last night in the shower that I should privatise my entries, cos then I'll still have my memories, but won't have the risk of something I dont want seeing them, reading them.  But then I thought, 'nah what's the fucking point of that?' - that's just ridiculous.  I mean if you guys can make your entries public or favourites only, then I at least should do the same.  Plus I just feel it's better this way, and I can see your awesome notes.  I would write more, but I've gotta go to work.  The response to my last entry was amazing for a favourites only entry!  I'm like 'whoa!' - thank you so much for all your kind words and advice - It seriously means the world to me, and I dunno what I'd do without you guys. Mwah boys and girls!  (more so boys of course hehehe ;) )

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xxoo

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i dont know if australia has these, but if you have patience and arent looking for a quick return, bonds are definitely the way to go. double your money! [EternallyHopeful] 8/18/2005 9:29:29 PM

bah, i wish we had siestas. most of europe has them . . . everyone needs that damned afternoon nap. stupid brits. no worries, mate, i love aussies! and prince william. ;-)

[Prince Zidane] [p] 8/18/2005 9:59:01 PM

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!1 that's an amazing joke!!!!! :-)

[Prince Zidane] 8/18/2005 10:00:09 PM

actually, it felt pretty good. like i said, i came from his fellating. my worst was probably my first. i swallowed, and i cried. the worst is yet to come, i believe. [Robby Concord] 8/18/2005 11:17:26 PM

Nice entry!! [VIRGIN GIRL] 8/18/2005 11:46:35 PM

It's great to read your diary too! It's one of the ones I look forward to reading each day. Well, I look forward to reading everyone's, oh well, you know what I'm saying. Take care dude! [C-Dub85] 8/19/2005 12:04:51 AM

Great entry...glad that you are sticking with us here at OD, it would be awful empty without you Matt.

Huggs!!!

[GardenBoi] 8/19/2005 12:05:22 AM

Wow, awesome entry. It makes you think, really.

hugs [Ness Macabre] 8/19/2005 12:29:39 AM

Loved the ehtry Matt. And yeah I think you're right....most guys are jerk offs. Later buddy!!

Ben [Taste The Rain Bow] 8/19/2005 6:35:58 AM

9 to 5 pays the fuk'n bills... that's about it.

you should get an agent if the entertainment biz looks good to you [J HENRY] 8/19/2005 8:41:04 AM

hey there, this is a great entry. i think about having a "private journal" too, but, hey, that's what paper is for! it's cool to get feedback on entries- support, questions, comments, all of it. and from "strangers" at least, in my diary, only people i've never met before read it (i hope!).

i was just thinking today about this whole "9 to 5" thing, too. i'm in my second year of college, and have [easy, happy, endings] 8/19/2005 6:42:01 PM

absolutely no idea what i'm going to "do with my life." i know what i want to do (theatre, sell artwork, clothing & accesories that i make, make music (i play drums, guitar, little piano, and LOVE to sing,etc)all things that aren't "real jobs" and have no guarantees.

advice: try out for that TV show! sounds stupid, but SERIOUSLY go for it! you never know, matt. they'd take 1 look at [easy, happy, endings] 8/19/2005 6:46:24 PM

you and CREATE you a part! oh, please, oh please! just try out for the experience anyway... who know? maybe you'll find a new passion!

<3 [easy, happy, endings] 8/19/2005 6:47:35 PM

Thats really funny. I'm 15-16 and my parents have my whole life planed out for me. Not really, just the next 4 years for sure and the next 4 years are sketchy. I really like this entry. Actually, I usually like most of your entries, you are a good writer. Makes me think about where I'll be in 5 years. [Interpreter of Life] [p] 8/20/2005 8:03:25 AM

i <3 dolly parton! [Indigo Sky] 8/20/2005 5:04:02 PM

LoL I liked the joke giggles [~~PuddleGlum~~] 8/20/2005 9:40:48 PM

Last updated May 13, 2014