WHO'S LIFE IS THIS ANYWAY in WHO'S LIFE IS THIS ANYWAY

So i have come to the realisation that i have turned into a middle aged woman with unruly middle aged spread and a vague and exhausted look about me

You see theses women on a daily basis in the office on the bus wandering round the super market with a look of desperation or “I don’t care anymore” wearing an ensemble of I’ve just pulled this out the washing basket or I’m having a midlife crises

At some point in the last eight months mid life and her friends middle aged spread and crises crept into my life one night with out me knowing and made them selves at home and now they wont leave
My clothes have become a little more snug than they were before
My hair has become a little more unruly and greyer
I find myself looking at comfy shoes and practical clothing
My bed seems a much more inviting place than a night on the tiles
And lets not mention night sweats and the menopause

My children are adults now although they still live at home and still need me for something they don’t need me to tuck them in at night or wipe away their tears
My partner has turned into a grumpy old man who spends his time either wandering around the house looking for things he has misplaced because “people keep moving then and i wish they would leave things where i put them ” or shouting at his Xbox for 15 hours a day

While i spend my free time wandering around the house picking up after people or putting up with rude and stupid people at work
I seem to have lost my identity and forgotten who i am or was
I have become somebody’s wife somebody’s mother and somebody’s employee
I feel i have become invisible only to materialize when shifts need to be covered, someone wants something or they need to vent their frustrations
Most of the time i wander through life feeling unloved and unwanted

I should be out there enjoying myself because in theory have no ties or responsibilities only to myself
But in reality i work way more hours then my body likes me to because god forbid you cant say no to over time
And if i do fancy going anywhere i struggle to have someone to go with
Other half doesn’t like leaving the house only for 15 hours a week to go to work his Xbox is way more interesting than i am
The kids have their own lives and friends
and my sister struggles with her mobility
So that leaves me myself and i and who wants to go to the cinema or a art gallery on their own like billy no mates its some what sad

So i wander through the Autumn of my remaining years asking myself the same questions
“THERE HAS GOT TO BE MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS “
“WHO’S LIFE IS THIS ANYWAY”
AND I CERTAINLY DIDNT SIGN UP FOR ANY OF THIS

Answers on a post card please