Got me good in The OpenDiary (OD) Days!

Got me good - 7/8/2005

Right now I am so pissed off that I suggest if you don't want to hear me ranting, click the 'back' button now.  At Luke.  This morning I woke up cos i was on the very edge of the bed, with Luke laying in the middle, leaving me such little space that I couldn't even get comfortable.  My way of solving this was to put an arm over him, and I started groping him like I usually do, except this time he pushed my hand away roughly and rolled over.  Now one of the other reasons I did that was to see if he did exactly that.  See, once again, he wasn't home when I got home, and I heard him crawl into bed at like 3 or 4am.  Usually he's hanging out with his workmates and I'd hate to think otherwise, but it's been like every night for the last 2 weeks that he's been doing this.  Anyway he rejected me, for whatever reason I don't know - I jumped out of bed and threw my covers on him and stomped out the room - part anger, part drama queen lol.  It turned to just anger when I logged onto my computer.  Now in all honesty, every time he goes on the net, he checks the history, right?  I know he does this cos I figure I have nothing to hide on here, and he obviously likes to keep tracks on me, it's now been established.  So for once I decided to check the history of today (because I went to bed before midnight last night).  Part of the history was OD and the OD error page, where he must have discovered he could no longer access my diary.  Whether he did or not I don't know.  I don't really care.  I am so annoyed right now that he doesn't trust me.  And I'm even considering a break-up because I don't know how I can be with someone who doesn't trust me, and until now, that I can't trust.  Problem is I have an emotional and physical attraction to the guy, but right now it feels I'm being completely used.  He uses all my stuff, I've given him $500 towards his car, I took him under my wing when he had nowhere to go, I just feel I've done so much for him and shown him so much love, and yet sometimes he's so careless and takes it all for granted.  GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!  I'm not sure what to do, he stormed out the door for work just before.

Yesterday at work was funny.  The 'tastee' rep (Adam) came in to do his rounds.  I call him the tasty rep cos he works for tastee foods and it's just a running gay joke.  He got me good yesterday though.  Him and my manager must have been talking about me cos when I emerged from the freezer they were both looking at me, and I presumed they were talking about my quietness cos Damo said "Matty just gets stuck in and gets the job done', and quick as a flash, Adam goes, 'yeah, I've heard that.' Smart ass, hahahaha.  Had me laughing though.  Take care guys! 

Notes: --------------------------------------------------------------------

i really think luke is bad news [HotGayBoy80] 7/8/2005 6:14:58 PM

AH?! he checks your HISTORY??

why is he so insecure? is it becuase he saw your diary? [penfifteen] 7/8/2005 6:21:51 PM

I hate to think it, but I really do think he is using you. That is just uncool and I really want to just bitch-slap him. [Orange Blossom] 7/8/2005 6:24:31 PM

aw babe! i feel so bad! u 2 were so happy a few months back!! i really hope u 2 sort it out coz after what happened in londons lifes too short!

xxxx [tink wannabe] 7/8/2005 6:30:42 PM

It's your OD Matt.. Luke is being so meanish to you and I think he scraed about moving and losing you and so if he starts treating you like sh*t now he'll not hurt you has much later down the road sounds like he needs to grow up and treat you better...Huggs Mermz

[Mermy] [p] 7/8/2005 7:29:28 PM

Chris reads my diary and could care less what other people think... Luke should so get over this crap... Huggs Mermz

[Mermy] [p] 7/8/2005 7:30:43 PM

Checking ur history?!?!?! Dude thats crazy...I mean there has got to be some trust there and it sounds like he doesnt trust u at all... I hope u get things figured out...

[Drewbeous fagrid] 7/8/2005 7:34:26 PM

Maybe, just maybe he was trying to access your open diary, and if he couldn't he got pissed off. Matt you cannot imagine how much I feel for you. If Lukedoen't snap out of this real soon perhaps you'd be better off in the long run to send him packing out the door. Man, my thoughtsare with you.

Love ya dude,

Ben [Taste The Rain Bow] 7/8/2005 8:26:57 PM

Ok, ok so my opinion about Luke is now changed. He turned out to be a total dick, at least from my point of view. He obviously doesn't trust you, because why would he look through the history anyway? Cha. He bugs me now. It does sound like he's just using you. I don't know you, but I do know I don't want you to get hurt. Please, just, take the whole relationship into consideration, k? k. :) [dunoamb] 7/8/2005 8:35:22 PM

Hey sorry to hear about luke, maybe you need to talk to him about this and find out whats going on, because if he is using you then its probably good you figure things out now and not in like 2 months or something. I hope things change for the good, TTYL

Randall [MplsGayboy1985] 7/8/2005 11:10:58 PM

your jealous lover sounds like my control-freak, possessive mother.

honestly, i couldn't deal with someone like that. which is why the relationship/arrangement i have now is so wonderful. [Prince Zidane] 7/8/2005 11:15:22 PM

Gives a :/ face

I'm sorry to hear about you and Luke. I really thought that you guys would make it.. heh.

I wish there was something uplifting I could say, some words of wisdom, but I'm just so out of it and depressed. Heh.

That makes two of us.

Talk to you later,

-James [Beez] [p] 7/8/2005 11:36:50 PM

Your Boyfriend is showing all the signs of someone who maybe is feeling quilty for not trusting you, when in fact, he is the one cannot be trusted. It is your life. Look at him closely. I think that maybe you deserve better. Sorry to sound harsh. [pizzaguy184] 7/9/2005 4:44:00 AM

Wow I dunno what to say. Its hard when you have those connections to the person, I suspected my ex was cheatin, or was goin to, but when people told me he did i wouldn't believe it cause I loved him...its true that love blinds you, maybe gotta step back and listen to everyones advice. I dunno. [x2c] 7/9/2005 5:52:21 AM

Sorry to hear about Luke. I know its hard to go through that, and its annoying because you want to vent, but you dont want to portray him...this person you love as a bad person. Im sorry [shrektrek] 7/9/2005 11:22:25 AM

Last updated May 11, 2014