The Score in Current Events

I just got back from a little walk. I had to vent to Bev on the phone. Toni came at me out of nowhere about the hydro bill (electrical bill). I moved it to an open spot so I could clean the table at some point. Where is the hydro bill?! Her shout made me jump. I handed it to her, no harm done, right? Did you pay it!? She asked. I answered no, I was confused about why I would pay it. She, out of the blue, decided that she would pay that and I would pay the internet bill. Then I have to pay it! Then she stormed away. She was drinking, as per usual. So what I have here is a roommate that needs to get drunk to confront me. That needs to go on the attack when they confront me. She feels entitled to treat me that way when she is upset. I am not here to put up with her abuse. This is not the first time. It’s been eating me up inside this money situation. She is still all over the place. Once I tabulate what we have been putting into this place she will see that she is making me pay for both room & board. The groceries and essentials are all on me. Will she create another alternate reality for herself and then try and gaslight me into believing that I am wrong|? Then she will forget whatever commitment she comes up with and then create a new one that is easiest for her.

Last week she reverted back to the original plan of splitting the rent down the middle and then she offered to pay half of the grocery bill. In the original agreement, she wanted me to take it out of what I send her for rent. This is the agreement that made her feel short-changed. That is probably because out of the blue she decided that we would no longer do that and just fend for ourselves as she continued to eat my food. She is somehow entitled to me supplying her with the essentials. Toilet paper, detergents, garbage bags and literally every single thing we need. Not to mention that she said that she had everything already but decided, out of nowhere, that it was not worth the trouble of getting it from her parent’s shed. This left me needing to get everything. From pots and pans to cutlery and everything. Appliances, you name it. All on me. I am tasked with calculating what I spent on groceries this month and then she is to send me money? I don’t even know.

I’ll have to tabulate it all, provide transparency and then get it on paper what our agreement is. I want a day off at home by myself to do that. That opportunity hasn’t happened yet. This is really starting to affect my moods. It’s eating me up. This is really testing our friendship. I can see why she can’t keep a man, can’t make friends, and can’t have a healthy relationship with her family. This is why she feels lonely to her core, to the point where it creates panic attacks. She’s absolutely toxic and human repellent. Her victim narratives, she’s very narcissistic here.

Whatever, I’m going to bed. I don’t want to think about it anymore.