Deprived in Still Listening to Spirit

I am feeling increasingly deprived as our dire financial situation continues. We will be well on our way toward that easing by the end of May with back bills being caught up and money remaining for regular bills AND groceries.

We are not starving, we have heat, electricity, telephone, internet access, etc. The dogs and cats are fed as well with little treats now and then of a can of food or for the dogs, leg bones at $1 a pound at the market.

I have noticed this 'deprivation' this winter, but not so much as now when I am working and moving and working up more of a hunger than my less active life this winter. This past week I have gone to the kitchen very hungry and not finding anything to eat--oh there is food, but my go-to is yogurt, cottage cheese, apples or oranges, several types of block cheeses, all things Hub doesn't eat, so I don't buy on our reduced budget.

Instead I buy things he does eat at a meal including potato chips, which can't be a snack for me, it just can't. Anyway, I am not doing 'poor me', just feeling disappointed in my very limited choices.

Thursday I showed up for a meeting Heath had asked me to have with him and Jamie (I've been spelling her name wrong) at 9am. I got there at 8 and got some really good arranging (again) and organizing done so I am more ready to work. Lisa showed up at 10 saying that was when the meeting was called for and Katie showed shortly thereafter. Jamie showed up 15 minutes later and we women had a very productive discussion of how things will flow at the sales counter, pre-book Jeeps, etc. Heath showed up at 10:30.

I was looking very forward to the meeting because Tuesday when Lisa went to lunch he and Jamie had just gotten back from lunch. He sat down in the office with Jamie and said "Jamie and I have discussed things at lunch and I think you will be very happy with what we have come up with"...he has said this several times, maybe I wrote of it in my last entry.

When Lisa came back into the office before he got to his main point (which I think had to do with money, but I may be mistaken), he shut down the discussion and asked me to meet him and Jamie Thursday at 9am before another meeting with others called at 10am.

I have noticed that Heath is sometimes (maybe half the time) very hard to keep on topic. He is easily distracted, etc. After a bit of the meeting Thursday with him, Rod from the market came with the forklift to deliver about 1000 pounds of stuff ordered through the market. After it was offloaded on the boardwalk, Heath engaged Rod in conversation and during the next 45 minutes, he was showing Rod the popcorn stand, explaining carmel corn operation, and so on.

Meanwhile, we women were waiting for him to return to the meeting and finish up. We chatted, which was great, and got to know each other better. Nice to have a regular conversation without pressure to work. After about 45 minutes, I looked at Jamie and said "I guess we're done?" She concurred.

I did a little more finishing up a few things and left at 12:30, so I was there maybe 4 hours or so and it was productive for us girls to get things and flow for sales, etc talked over and agreed upon, as far as I am concerned, it was pretty much a waste of time except that I am more ready for season to begin Monday.

Today was sunny and too warm, by 3pm it was way too hot to sit in the sunshine on the deck with no wind and the sun beating down. Probably only 70F at the most, but hot hot for the me that is unused to hot weather. I spent time in the trailer removing pockets on a 8 or 9 year old blouse, taking it in 2 inches and then replacing the pockets with some contrasting fabric using the removed pockets as pattern.

I tried to put some of the same fabric on the bottom of the short sleeves, but I misjudged how wide to make it and totally sewed it on wrong on the first sleeve. By that time, my mind wasn't working and I knew to do any more would be unproductive.

The inversion table arrived at Madame's today and we picked it up after doing some errands. Eric loaded it in the back of the Jeep and I carried it into the garage much to Hub's protest but he certainly couldn't do it and not suffer more pain in his back. I opened it and looked at the instructions and they are very easy to follow, each step on a page of the booklet with drawing of the nuts and bolts and things in one corner so I can gather what is needed for that step before beginning to put the parts together.

I was too mind and body tired though, so despite my wanting to put it together and try it out myself, I left it for tomorrow. If nothing else, I am learning to conserve my energy, not work past what I am able to do. When I do, I get very short tempered and this is not the person I want to be--in my head OR to anyone around me.

All is well, blessed be!