Highest of highs to in Torridaussity Two

Lowest of lows. I know some of you saw I finally closed my dating 2020 book because on August 1st it will be the one year anniversary of the first date I had with D. It’s been a tumultuous year for me, me being too afraid to scare him off and ruin things, him being a bit selfish and unclear a lot. But last Saturday he invited me to a cabin his best friends family owns to meet 3 of his best friends and he met one of mine. We had a great time for the most part. He said a few things that again made me question where his heart truly lies, but overall I felt that this was another sign that I really mean something to him and then this weekend happens. He in his own words doesn’t plan things has to decide last minute so for the second time I decide I’ll try to make plans with him and again am at least this time only half rejected unlike the full rejection of the first time I tried. He replied saying well maybe Sunday I’m at the lake till then....
I’M immediately hurt because he never said a word about going away. A year in and you don’t think to tell me that? Like I don’t care he went away just that he didn’t tell me. Makes me feel like ok I really don’t matter. I’ve already decided not to ask him again about Sunday. I can’t take more rejection. I just am so confused. I’m tired of having to guess how he feels. I will have the big talk the next time we see each other in person because I can’t do this much longer. My heart and mind can’t take it. I was already falling harder for him, then last week it intensified and of course it makes this week hurt worse. I’m just hurting tonight....