hey little girl, do you want to be the king's pet or the king? in --

Cannon has a hard time napping, so sometimes I have to drive him around so he will. It's actually a good opportunity for me to catch a break, so I do it a few times a week. I put on music and drive to Starbucks and order a drink. It's relaxing and beneficial, since Cannon will sometimes fall asleep.

Last night he didn't go to bed until 2:00am. He fell asleep at 10 minutes 'til 8:00pm. I was trying to keep him awake, but he put himself to sleep for the first time last night... so I let him sleep, hoping he'd stay asleep for the night. He woke up around 11 and stayed up until 2am, however. I'm so tired.

It's 4.30pm and he's already had his nap for the day so hopefully he will go to bed earlier tonight.

Anyway.

I'm a bit terrified to raise a girl. When I found out I was pregnant, I had a faint hope that the baby was a boy. I am resentful that I have to feel that way in society. There are still so many underlying gender issues that I have a hard time with. I worry that she will grow up to feel like she isn't good enough, or in danger. Granted, the world has come a long way in terms of feminism, but there is still more to do.

All I can do is raise her to understand her worth as a person regardless of her sex. That's all I can do with both of my children. There are issues regarding males too, but I'm more worried about the female ones. I just don't want my daughter to be like me in some ways.

It would be even worse for them if they identified as something other than straight, or "male" or "female." There is still so much hostility surrounding those issues. It makes me angry that the hostility even exists, but it does.

I regret dying my hair something other than blonde because oh my gosh, do I wish I could dye my hair green.

also, I really want this dress... but I can't find it anywhere. ugh.