A few things.... *downer entry* in A Day in the Life of Me

I seem to have lost the passion for everything…
I don’t leave the house very often. I sit around all day in my pjs, can’t be bothered getting dressed.
I don’t see ppl.
We used to be more social, and yes I know the current state of the world has kinda put a hold on that for everyone, but ppl we used to do things with don’t even bother to return calls/msgs anymore. And everyone else is busy with things. The one person I do see on the semi regular basis has informed me that they are closing on a new home soon.
45min away.
Crafting, photography, all of it.. isn’t holding/driving me atm.
I’m getting heaver.... so I am sinking deeper. Home workouts don’t cut it for me. I need to get back to the gym routine, but I am avoiding buses atm, and my location that I go to had a high risk exposure case, not even a week after they reopened.
Went to the mall today to buy new workout leggings… left practically in tears after the second try on. Have since ordered two pairs off amazon.. hope they work....
I am worried about getting back into the workforce. I don’t know what I want to do, except not go back to retail.
I dream (like everyone) about winning the lotto so I don’t have too.
I am worried about housing situations. I have no (current) reason to be, as the LL hasn’t said anything since the winter. I did have a lady I know through the con circuit contact me this week about if we would consider moving out a lil ways from where we are now (30ish min busrides) into a unit they have in their home as their (nightmare) tenants are leaving this month… But I am to attached to THIS place even though everyone else on the property makes me want to murder them. I’ve been here 15 years, got married on the back lawn next door, and we like the new owner of that property and their sweet little doggo.
I have no urge to clean, I do as little as possible to keep the house neat, even though I know I need to do more. Also need to work on decluttering.
I signed up for Wealthsimple today (soft suggestion of the one who was talking to me about their possible rental), to attempt to see about stock trading.. have 0 clue about it, and everything I read has me even more unsure on what to do, so the few bucks I have deposited is still sitting there waiting to be spent.

It’s taken all night for me to write this post, simply because putting everything in writing is making what’s been swimming in my head all week to fucking real.