Father's Day in Help Me Please

Growing up with the same dad for the 50 something years I have been above ground is considered a special thing. because a lot of the people I know especially friends have had step fathers and very rarely see their bio father. To me this is really sad how one can go from one father to another like they are dirt that is just swept away. How can it be so easy to forget the real dad and go on to a wanna be dad? Yes the wanna be dad does try hard to be what the bio dad wasn’t but it’s never really the same because there is a lot of history missing and as us children get older we want to know the medical history and who their extended family was and often we can’t find that. And does the wanna be dad really love you or do they love your mother more and you are just there? And more often then not there is never anything said about the bio dad because of something that happened was back in history and it’s never talked about ever.
Why is it so important for children to have fathers if they are going to abuse them? Are they not better off with a single parent who really loves them? And why is it mothers often look for another man to be a dad to their children? Why force a child to pretend to love another when they already have a dad? And then there is the name change and then there is “what do I call him”? And what if this one abused the children also then what?
I think that when a relationship breaks up there has to be some time where the children accept what has happened and talk about how they are feeling and if they even want another dad. I think it’s not right to force a relationship onto the children. And no they are not too young to ask these questions.
When my ex left and I had a new boy friend I always asked my son what he thought of them and what he was going to call him. My son never did want a step dad because he always had a dad even though he was sick and didn’t want anything to do with him really. But never the less he always had a dad and that was the important thing. and the boyfriends I had were my friend not my son’s and it worked out perfectly.

So on this father’s day I am reflecting on the relationship I have had with my dad over the years and I always like to think that my dad always loved me no matter what and when he talks I always listened because he only talked once about the subject. I always like spending time with my dad and he always made sure I had what I needed and even today asks if I need anything. And the times I di talk to him are not often but the times I do I always get this fuzzy feeling and I know that I am very lucky to be talking to him. But the best thing is when he phones me just to say hi.

The thing I have figured out is I don’t need one day a year to realize what a great dad I have and today is no different then it was yesterday or what it will be tomorrow or even next week. Everyday my dad is above ground is always fathers day and because I love him it takes more then a day to say all these nice things and to buy him gifts. But then my dad can by himself whatever he wants any day of the week so why do I have to buy him anything any day? I think the best gift any child can give their dad is to tell them that they love him and that they are lucky to have him as the dad they love.

So Happy father’s day to all the dad out there and especially to the dads that are parenting their children alone.
And I think this says it all....

“Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad”

Onto something else....

Today hubby is going for his second shot and I am going to see if they will give me mine also then I won’t have to go back next week. And after that hubby wants a new pair of shoes and a hair cut and hopefully after he will take me out for dinner or a late lunch and then I won’t have to cook again. last night we ordered Chinese food from a new to us place and it was pretty good and the price was reasonable and they had free delivery and there is still left overs so if you want some come and get it before they are gone.

Well today is also hubby’s mother’s Birthday and it’s always bitter sweet and it has been like this ever since she died and it’s also the first day of summer. But then I am always thinking about her and sometimes I even catch myself asking her a question and then realizing she isn’t there. But the thing I don’t get is why hubby never talks about her unless I bring the subject up. I guess men are different then women.

Life is so fragile so lets just appreciate the people who are close to our hearts and never let them fade.
Happy Father’s Day

Last updated June 20, 2021