Shouldn't I in Journal

be angry?
After all that… over a year ago we agreed. Over six months ago we implemented. And, DH has been resistant and defensive the whole time.
We agreed that he works too much. We agreed that we would both rather have him be home more than make more money. We don’t need the money. We can do so much without the money. We agreed that he would only work max 6 days a week and reasonable hours. No more all nighters. No leaving before his son wakes up and getting home after he’s asleep. A child needs to see that he has a dad. No more guessing as to where he is, what he’s doing, when he’ll be home. We agreed to communicate about what we’re doing.
As of today, we haven’t spoken in 4 days and I just checked the company website to see what he might be doing. Yes, there is a work thing going on today. Although it is Saturday, and we had agreed to having at least one weekend day off every week; still he works.
I don’t know if I should be angry. I don’t feel angry. I feel immense sadness. The weight is… like whale slowly, ever so slowly, descending upon my chest. I can breathe, still, and I guess that is fine.

I feel that I am driving him away. I feel like he doesn’t like me. I’m not sure that he ever liked me. I feel like a pill. I am a lot to put up with. I am too needy. I am self righteous. I am demanding. I am the infinite maternal hole of need.

And, I am so fucking sad.