Balancing Cofactor. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Tashy came by this afternoon to collect more things. It’s a slow process, obviously. Over a year, and there’s still things here. I asked her if she was surprised at how little I brought with me when I moved from Jersey. I have a couple years on her, so I guess she assumed I would have accumulated more “stuff”.

Oh, I pared down when I left my flat. I cried a bit. And when I left Jersey, I left nothing behind. To quote Fight Club, “The things you own end up owning you.” Very little do I regret discarding.

I wish she wasn’t so busy. I’m pretty low maintenance. When I dated Candi, I had a span where I was going to school and working. So, busy. I promised her Saturday nights. She was peeved that our interactions would be reduced, but we got through. Tashy is a different story, obviously.

Work is obvious. Small child and her issues are obvious. Then there’s her simply taking on more than she should. And if she gets free time, her mom is one of those OH YOU’RE FREE FIX MY COMPUTER. I’m sure at least one reader has a mom who does tings like that, associating “free time” with “YOU’RE AVAILABLE, DO THINGS FOR ME.”

When Tashy and I lived together, I lowered her stress level. I didn’t specifically stop her from taking on more tasks. I removed stressors. Oh, she was a single mom before me. I know she can pull it off. But I fathom any single parent wishes sometimes they had an extra adult around.

She didn’t have to worry about getting small child to school. Or her homework. Didn’t have to worry about dinner, I made it every night unless she “asked” to make dinner. (She didn’t want to feel like she was banned from the kitchen.) I would run interference with small child so she could spend some time alone without distractions. Get her off her phone and play a video game. Or practice guitar.

Other times I’d encourage her to spend time with small child, as whipper-snapper IS rather needy.

It’s such a simple thing to be here. Just be here. If she wants to dart out for whatever reason, she didn’t have to worry about who is going to watch small child. Anyone with kids knows bringing them along for a “quick” errand makes it not-so-quick.

I’d make Tashy tea. Between my memory and the calendar, I kept track of events and appointments. And, because she’s ridiculous, I kept track of her purse, keys, and phone. She’s magical and will misplace them within seconds upon returning home. Did eventually get her into the habit of hanging her keys up on a hook by the door. It’s not OCD - it’s a good habit.

I’m very “Eh, let’s relax.” She’s very “GO GO GO.” My best partners have been more… energetic isn’t the word. Random doesn’t sound right, either Driven?

Guess I like being first officer. When my partner says, “Wanna do the thing?” I’ll say “Okay!”

Last updated June 13, 2021