Old in Packrat

I'm 50. While I don't think this is old (because, y'know, old people tend to forget stuff, so every day is truly a brand new day!), age does limit what your body can do.

I'm 50. I've made no secret of this and instead blared the news to whoever couldn't get away fast enough. I joined AARP immediately. I went on a big vacation to one of my favorite places in the world (Charleston, SC) to celebrate, because a big birthday requires a big to-do.

My brother is younger than me by two years, and two weeks ago he gave me a niece (because, lest anyone forget, it's all about me). We're in the middle of our clan ceremony "season", which means every weekend is a clan ceremony, so we see a bunch of people every weekend.

Last week the Man came to my clan's ceremony, and as we sat talking, I of course gave the news of the century that my brother is a daddy. The Man congratulated me and then asked, "What's your excuse? When are you going to get started?" I stared at him and I'm sure my mouth was hanging open in amazement (very pretty, I'm sure). I laughed. "I'm 50! I'm old and dried up now!"

Last weekend another guy commented, "Your brother proves it's never too late! When are you having one?" I said, "Yeah, sometimes it is too late! I'm 50 and old and dried up now!"

Most people assume I'm my baby brother's little sister, even though I constantly lord it over him that I'm older and the firstborn (and, again, to anyone who listens because they can't get away from me fast enough). Once when one of his adopted sisters went into the hospital, he found chairs for all the other sisters while I sat on the floor, and one of them commented that he made his little sister sit on the floor. He bellowed, "She has ALL THAT GRAY HAIR and you think she's my LITTLE SISTER?!"

(I started turning gray at 19.)

Until a few years ago I did look a lot younger than what I am, but when I went through The Sickness I aged. (Droopy eyes. Thinning hair. You get the picture.) I'm Grandma to so many and my body makes noises when I move (No, not THOSE noises - well, not all the time!!!); I think that I look about 100 and I've been acting that way. So it's funny - and a little gratifying (I must look healthy again!) - that someone thinks I'm still at an age when I could produce.

But, of course, I wouldn't be laughing if I felt I really am old and dried up. I really feel I'm in my prime, and now I have a niece and granddaughter who just got here. My memories of life can be a roadmap to use as a guide sometimes, and through their just getting started I will also see with new eyes. I'm 50, and I've just been reborn!