It is Fear, Plain and Simple in Everyday Ramblings

Another shot of our walk last weekend with open peonies. Yesterday I walked with Charity. She has this idiosyncrasy that she doesn’t like to carry anything when she walks. She used to carry a smallish bottle of water but lately not even that. She wants to go by a store so she can buy one. I think it affords her opportunities to interact with people in the stores.

She wears shorts if it is warm enough so without a bag, she carries her mask now in her pocket instead of around her neck as she has most of the last year. Yesterday the plan was to walk down residential streets south and then loop back along the river. It was a gorgeous fresh morning after the desperately needed rain.

We got about 2 ½ miles out and were heading into an upscale grocery to get her water when she realized she did not have her credit card. We think it may have fallen out of her pocket when she took her mask or tissue out.

Needless to say, we did not have the leisurely river loop walk back. We hustled back with all haste the way we came. There was more up than I had planned but my job was to be a reassuring calming presence and keep my eyes peeled.

We didn’t find it. We did find a dog that seemed to be missing her person and got distracted a bit by that. The dog disappeared down a path and we hoped she was heading home so we resumed our sleuthing.

In the end she went to her local bank and canceled the card, and no one had accessed it in the meantime so that was a positive.

Later she brought over a copy of Finding the Mother Tree Discovering the Wisdom of the Forest by Suzanne Simard that she had ordered as a gift for me because she appreciates me, which was so sweet. I told her it was a given I was going to be talking about trees even more after reading it than I do now.

Yesterday in Handstand Club we were learning a skill I cannot do called a Step Out.

One kicks up to a handstand in the middle of the available space and then steps one hand forward and cartwheels out of the movement. It is all about learning skills related to falling safely. I still can’t kick up to the wall into handstand yet. I can walk up the wall with my feet with my belly facing the wall when I am feeling strong, so I worked on moving my hands from that position.

She taught us cool variations for getting up and one I look forward to trying when I have another human in the room that is much safer than a spot. But after class I was thinking, you know, I have been able to kick up into headstand in the past. If I can do that, why can’t I do handstand?

Fear. I am afraid of the kick-up. As my teacher says, mentally you might be ready, but your body is afraid. All that amazing connective tissue that talks to our nervous system is like, no thanks.

Why I am not afraid of headstand, which is a much more dangerous move, if one doesn’t have the proper strength, is another story. To prove it to myself I did kick up to headstand after class. Okay then, so now I know what to work on.

After all that, and the hustle back looking for the card, I was pretty sore teaching class. The good thing about this is that when I am showing something I can literally feel what muscles are activated because I can pretty much feel most of my muscles.

It is dark and drizzly again today so it will be a quiet one.

I bought some columbine seeds this week. They attract leaf miners so I thought I would plant a row next to my beets. It takes a year for them to flower so this is a long game here but worth the experiment. It takes at least a year for them to bloom. This is kind of like planting trees next to your library, something they did at Oxford. :)

The seeds are in the refrigerator for a few weeks before I try to germinate them. I got some Zinnia seeds too. I still have a few holes where marigold and chard seeds didn’t come up so I can fill in those spots. I also think I may have carrot fly as well. Can’t wait until my netting comes. Clearly there are challenges in planting in a community garden I hadn’t anticipated.

Lot’s of thrills and chills in the doing though.

Last updated May 27, 2021