The State as Family in Journal
- May 25, 2021, 5:48 p.m.
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- Public
I don’t think that it is any coincidence that we have the gov’t and the leaders that we have, considering the state of parenting and the family.
If we accept the copious evidence that the vast majority of people simply go around recreating their childhood, then the state of the nation is merely a reflection of the family.
Is it any wonder that the now president is a doddering old fool, ignorantly destroying, killing, punishing… and it is accepted and forgiven because at least he’s not the other guy. At least he’s not aware of the atrocities he commits. And if he is, at least he pretends to be doing the best he can with what he’s been given. At least he mouths the soothing phrases that seems to lull the nation back into their collective comfortable nap.
Why would a nation accept that behavior from a leader and not in their own families? Do not adult children accept and even expect the soothing mouthings from their own parents? We did the best we could with the knowledge we had. If this is accepted and expected, an unquestioned and wholly appropriate excuse, then we can always expect it from the higher authority figures.
It is once again embarrassingly obvious. The parallels too perfect.
This does beg the question; how to proceed in one’s personal life?
Why, to follow the evidence, and be rigorously honest.
I wrote an entry yesterday and it brought up some Parts. Those Parts were a) Hope- who literally saved my life as a child by ferociously believing in the goodness of my mother. And b) an Inner Mother- who alternatingly indulges and avoids Hope. Of the two, the Inner Mother is far more complex. Of course she is there to help me. All my Parts are. She indulges Hope so as to prevent her from becoming too discouraged and giving up altogether. Hope giving up would result in absolute desolation, and death. So that’s bad. My Inner Mother feels a sort of sympathy and a compassion for Hope, but also distant, as if Hope needs to learn to be independent. Inner Mother is very pleased when Hope does not bother her. Inner Mother knows that Hope only wants love- approval, attention, acknowledgement, but is reluctant to offer any of these, as it will only encourage dependence.
Hope of course is, a little child. Very little. She tries to love Mother. She tries very hard to please Mother, even becomes independent when it is damaging to herself to do so, because that pleases Mother. She is difficult to speak to because she prefers to run and hide and be alone rather than divulge her secrets- and possibly offend Mother.
There are many other parts within this complex interaction, including a Manipulator, an Analyst, a Judge, a Boss, and too many more than I care to count. Of these, the Judge records and judges these interactions- she tells me that it is wrong for a child to be unloved, and even worse to have to find a way to provide the very resource she is needing to a parent. The exact parent who should be fulfilling the child’s needs is being rewarded with a needy little child’s desperate affection.
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