“5 POSSIBLE REASONS SOME PEOPLE FIND IT DIFFICULT TO SAY ‘I LOVE YOU’” in “LIFE IN THE TIMES OF CORONA: On A Mass Exile”

Please, don’t get them wrong. You may think they’re being complicated. You might also assume that they’re being such cowards.

The truth is, it’s not always as simple and easy as a typical rom-com (romantic comedy). Lucky for you if you can say those three sacred words as easily as breathing.

Well, it’s not always because they’ve never really tried. Perhaps they have – once, twice, thrice, whatever – even more than that. If you’ve never been in their shoes, then who the hell are you to say that they must’ve done something wrong – or that something must be weird or wrong with them?

Here are five (5) possible reasons some people find it difficult to spit the “L” – word out:

1. It’s not their force of habit.
   Let’s just accept that this is not everyone’s cup of tea. Cultures or cultural backgrounds may also play a role here. Instead of just saying it, they prefer proving it with what they do to the people they truly love.

This may be hard for some of you to understand. Let me get this straight: if they suddenly say they love you after all the things they do for you, then you know damn well that they’re deadly serious.

1. They don’t want to play games with those words.
   Never say never. It’s not that they’ve never said those three sacred words to anyone before. They do … selectively. They only do so to people who matter most to them. That’s also not every day, though.

Sorry if you think they’re boring and that they seem unable to relax. That’s fine. At least you will know that they may not be the cheating kind. Once they say they love you, they really mean it.

1. They’re fed up with other people using the word ‘love’ oh-so-cheaply.
   How often do you tell anyone that you love them? Are they important people in your life? Do you really mean it? If you don’t, then no wonder that people like you just piss them off. How easy.

People like you are also the reason they don’t want to just say those words to anybody – even those who mean the world to them. They’re afraid. They don’t want to be just like you.

1. They’ve been rejected harshly…possibly more than once to thrice.
   Don’t get them wrong. It’s not like you have to say ‘yes’ all the time. You don’t have to lie just to please them. In fact, you’ll insult them with your dishonesty. (Well, unless they were psychopaths willing to keep you with them at any cost possible!)

However, being rude to them is not nice either. You may give them the trauma with this. (Sadly in some cases, even though they’ve already forgiven you – the trauma is still there.)

Them: “I love you.”

Your response: “Why are you being so weird with me?”

See? That’s why they’d rather not say it. They’d rather not say anything at all.

Then, what are you supposed to do? Oh, my God. You could just say thank you and then be honest that you don’t feel the same way. Yes, they might be disappointed, but sooner or later – they should all just get over it. You’re not obligated to make them feel happy by lying to all of you. Just walk away if they start being psychos to you.

1. They’re worried – or afraid – that they themselves can only say those words, but they may not really mean it.
   “Love should be simple and easy. It doesn’t have to be difficult.”

Says who? Maybe it does, to the more privileged. Maybe it does so as well, to an extent. Unfortunately, these people are not only tough on other people around them.

Guess what? They’re tough on themselves too. How? If they (feel that they) can’t prove to their loved ones how much they really love them, they’ll feel embarrassed that they even have the nerve to claim that.

See? I know this sounds rather extreme to you. These people are real – and so are their problems. You don’t need to understand what they’re going through. Just don’t make fun of them. This isn’t funny.

There’s no harm in empathy and sympathy. Besides, they’re probably still working up their courage and confidence when it comes to professing love. You’re lucky if you’re not them.
Let’s just hope that they’ll soon figure it out … somehow …

R.