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- May 5, 2021, 10:13 a.m.
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The move went pretty smoothly. The day with the truck that is. It’s been a little rough while here. We keep discovering that between the two of us we will be short something. For example, we didn’t even have plates, cups or mugs. That list gets bigger by the day. This move got more and more expensive. I’ve been doing the heavy lifting with those expenses. With the driving and the errands. Especially since she likes to live in fantasy land and she had romanticized her move to be slow. I had a truck but she didn’t want to move in that way. I knew what that was going to look like. Me driving her stuff over throughout the week.
I can’t tell if I just have the habit of needing to get annoyed with people that I live with but this is not what I expected. It’s not awful or anything, by far! I just developed pet peeves pretty early. For starters, Toni is in this permanent state of rolling joints. Then being high. She was diagnosed with adult ADHD but I think she’s just a pothead. She likes to pretend that the weed helps but it doesn’t. It probably makes her feel less shitty which makes her convinced that she feels better but here in sober land she is clearly just a pothead who can barely function. Just my opinion. It’s just annoying to see all the time. It sounds judgemental I know. I’ll own it. My second pet peeve is that I get up at 4:30am for work. I like one hour minimum to myself. It’s my alone time, an old habit from living in a crowded house and she gets up with me. Like, fuck off.
The third pet peeve is that she is moody. Like I mentioned before, I was worried that she was going to make her anxiety and depression my problem. So far, not so much but she gets the privilege of blaming everything on her hormones. Could I do that? No but I don’t care. Lol. Just a double standard I noticed. I knew she gave this living situation the job of curing her loneliness and I can tell that I am not living up to that for her. I refuse because it wasn’t possible. Codependent people like her always make the mistake of thinking they can fix the people and world around them to feel better. Gross. I used to empathize with people, like a lot, but now it’s just hard. There are so many important things happening in the world and these people can’t even get over themselves. Whatever though, I’ll still try and be a good friend. Judgemental as I am. Cluster B’s and low vibe people, over it!
Anyway, I seem to be missing a box or something. I’m missing a tiny piece for my computer desk so I can finish assembling it, my stick to get wifi on my computer, the remote for my PlayStation and the charger, my jump drive and a few other tiny things. Like, what? I unpacked everything and there is a few other tiny things. Speaking of tiny things I am so over typing from my phone. I want to be reunited with my computer already. I don’t have dwarf hands like everybody else, this keyboard sucks.
Pettiness aside, the apartment is great. Well, alright. It’s so spacious. I have a bedroom again and it even has a lock. It has its own bathroom and a big closet. I’ll be reunited with my computer soon enough. I already cringe at the thought of trying to type up a blog with Toni right behind me rolling her joints. The dining table is in the same space as the computer. I did set it up yesterday and I was going to try and play on it but it felt someone reading over my shoulder. When she gets her bedroom stuff this will probably change. Anyway, I have to stop complaining about Toni. I’m just airing it out! Our oven broke, our sink is clogged and there is a few other hiccups.
They did a shitty job cleaning it for us. They painted the walls and that’s about it. The toilets are disgusting. This smells like somebody’s else’s home also. I’ll get around to cleaning better. She is obsessed with her bathroom. She stinks the whole apartment up with windex because she will scrub it down after she smokes her 90th joint. Ugh, stoned people. Cringe! That’s her business though, I wouldn’t shame her in person. I grew up around stoners, I’m not over it. That look in their eyes makes my skin crawl. People have to be high all day long? “I’m special, I have special needs because specialness so I have to do it 24/7 because reasons.” Stoners, I don’t get it man.
Ok, this should be the last time I whine about Toni. Just needed to vent.
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