Fragility in Everyday Ramblings

One of the trilliums from Sunday.

I did all this reading about police accountability and then yesterday we had a Zoom consensus meeting on prepared questions for a position on a ballot measure we passed locally with over 80% of buy-in from the voters, last fall. As a group, we had approved the measure earlier, but this was getting down into the grit of how this citizen oversight board will do its job and how it will work with the review mechanisms already in place.

This all made me think hard about how I feel about various things having to do with public safety and community involvement. I was heartened that the one item I had instinctual reservations about, was a concern to other members of the study group. We put in a comment expressing our concern.

This is dark stuff, and the history here is not good in terms of racism and the power of the police union and stories of unbridled authority. I am now a much more informed citizen.

Later in the day I had an episode of angina, something I have not had to any serious degree since I left work. Just my heart condition saying hello. I don’t know for sure, but I think anxiety about partial re-entry might have something to do with it considering that I am more out in the world than I have been for a long time.

I know how to manage it, but it is still scary, a reminder of how vulnerable I am.

Today I was a little concerned because it was an active one. I had handstand club this morning which is effortful in a good way and then Charity and I did a 7 ¾ mile hike up to the highest point in the city afterwards. Good lord, it was gorgeous up there. The park is ringed with ornamental cherries that are in full bloom and we could clearly see (through some haze) three mountains.

Charity, who is a few months away from her 75th birthday was going so fast I needed to tell her to slow down a bit. She really wanted the up and we earned those 107 floors. I organized a route that put all the elevation up front, and we truly enjoyed the part where we walked through a residential area full of architect designed homes. It was fresh and quiet.

And tomorrow I really am getting my hair cut. Oh, happy day. The small salon is a block away from the garden. I am wondering if it will just be too weird if I show up for my appointment with my watering can?

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about thinning the carrots. Is this what gardener’s do?

Lot’s of questions. Curiosity is a good thing. It wakes up the mind and the senses.

One of the more well-known teachers on my weekly teacher’s call lives in Australia but was raised American and she also started a gentle podcast called Live Like You Love Yourself a few years ago. She produces it with a partner, another teacher, raised in New York but also living with her family in Australia.

Before they started the podcast and decided on the current format (to both interview a third person) they interviewed each other about their lives and yogic journey.

I had been listening and knew that the other teacher, not the one on our weekly call, had been diagnosed with a super rare form of cancer in her leg, in her femoral artery. She had surgery a few months ago and they discovered it was more extensive than first thought. She died last week.

This has been upsetting on a number of levels because I tell you they are not kidding when they are reporting “excess deaths” this last year. With what is going on in India and all I am hearing from friends and acquaintances one has to wonder if as a species we aren’t going through a culling.

Anyway, the teacher I know posted today the interview she did way back with her other teacher about her life and it is fascinating. So, I am glad for that and so sad for her loss.

With everything else this is such a reminder to enjoy every moment we can with our loved ones, our pets, ourselves and our interests. And the world out there, with your mask or without, as appropriate.

Last updated April 30, 2021