Always watching... in A day in the life...

I've had a couple of totally bizarre dreams that are really disturbing me. Any dream interpreters out there?

In the first one, I don't know where I was but I was trying to check on the welfare of a homeless man I had befriended. I was told he was temporarily staying with a family, but when I went to check on him they had him living outside (like a dog) and he had developed all these little holes all over his body. What's weird is that inside each hole there was a little eyeball looking at me.

In the second dream, which was just the other night, a friend of mine from high school was giving me a hard time about not helping out with something. I kept trying to explain to her that something was wrong with me, I was begging her to listen to me. I had a tumor that I could feel in my pelvic area, it was about the size of a golf ball. I tried to get her to feel it so she would know that I wasn't faking. I was literally grasping it in between my fingers through my skin and when I looked down at it I could see it through my skin, and it had a whole bunch of little eyeballs on it, and they were looking at me.

What. The. Heck??? I don't know why, but the whole eyeballs looking at me thing has me kinda freaked out. What does it mean? Am I afraid someone is watching me? Am I doing or have I done something wrong that I'm afraid someone will find out about? Am I acting in an inappropriate way and am afraid someone will notice? This is really screwing with my head, because I'm feeling guilty, but I don't know what I'm feeling guilty about!

Anyway, yesterday, even though I wasn't feeling great, I still made myself get up and go to the gym when hubby got home. I walked on the treadmill for 65 minutes (the last 5 minutes is "cool down" mode). I couldn't jog or run cuz of my tummy, but I started walking at 3.5 miles per hour with the incline at 4 and gradually increased the speed to 3.8 miles per hour and the incline up to 11. Upping the incline burns even more calories. Even though I couldn't run I still worked up a heck of a sweat and burned 634 calories. Awesome! No gym tonight because of church, but I'll be back at it tomorrow.

They showed a video at church tonight that had to do with how we are all God's masterpiece. The video was both funny and incredibly touching...had me laughing and crying. I posted it on my Facebook page. It still boggles my mind when I think about how much I'm loved...especially knowing I am so far from deserving it.

When hubby and I first got together his youngest daughter, Sera, was only 4 years old. Hubby told me that one day he was driving with the girls in the car and someone cut him off or something like that and he yelled out "Oh my God!" After he did that, Sera (remember, she was only 4 at the time), said, "Dad, when God gets upset about something does he say oh my self?" Out of the mouths of babes.

I took Ben to church with me tonight. Carly texted me last night and asked if I would watch him for a few hours this evening so she could study (she takes her final exam this Saturday). At first I told her I couldn't because of church, then I remembered that child care was being provided so I texted her back when I got up today and told her I could do it, that I'd just take him to church with me. What's really nice is that she got her hands on an extra car seat and gave it to me. Hubby put it in my car when he got home, so it'll stay in my car and this way we don't have be moving one car seat from her car to mine, from mine back to hers, etc. If any of you have ever had to put in a car seat, then you know what a pain in the butt it is. Infant car seats aren't that bad, but toddler ones...ugh. Anyway, after church I took Ben to his home instead of making Carly get back out and come to my house to get him. When I texted Carly that I would do that she texted back "OMG I love you!" LOL! I'll watch Ben again for a few hours on Saturday while Carly takes her exam, then again on Sunday while she works. I am crazy about this kid! He is such a sweetie, and he absolutely adores my husband! If any of you are on my Facebook then you've seen pictures of Ben and his new best friend (my husband). It's so cute to watch them play together and watch TV together.

I forgot to pick up my twitchy leg (restless leg syndrome) medicine after church and by the time I got home the pharmacy was closed, so this may be a long night. There's a 24 hour Walgreen's in Monroe, but it's after midnight and I don't really feel like going out. Hopefully it'll stay away...maybe if I take an extra Xanax. We'll see. If not, then like I said...it's going to be a long night.

I am really irritated about something. For the past six or seven years hubby and I have gone camping in Grand Haven, MI with our friends Jen and Erik over Labor Day weekend; we split the cost of the camping spot with them. The four of us always have a blast! Anyway, hubby's family has always held their family reunion on a weekend in August, so we always went to that as well. Well, last year hubby's family decided to hold the family reunion over Labor Day weekend and we didn't go because we already had plans to go camping and had paid for our part of it. Hubby explained to his parents that we've been doing this for many years, and that the family reunion was always held in August in the past. Well, they scheduled the family reunion this year for...wait for it...Labor Day weekend! I told hubby I wasn't going, because they're doing this on purpose. Last year hubby's mother sent him a nasty message on Facebook about not going to the family reunion and blamed it on me. I know this for a fact because I saw the message for myself. No big surprise there. Anything that happens involving hubby that pisses them off is my fault. So no, I'm not going. I understand if hubby wants to, or feels he needs to, and I won't be mad at all if he does. He said if he does go he won't stay all day and he'll drive up to Grand Haven later that day and spend the rest of the weekend with us. Works for me. I have WAY more fun with Jen and Erik than I do his family. Same goes for hubby...he's even said so himself. To be fair, there are family members of his that I really do like, but there are also several that I really don't like, and the less I'm around the less they can blame me for anything.

To the few of you that read my entries, I know a lot of them are boring, but I find it's really good for me to come here and write as often as I can...even if it's only to talk about what I eat, my sleep issues, or my bathroom habits (which I'll try not to talk about too often, I promise!). So if you find me boring....oh well. :-)

Hubby cut up a fresh pineapple tonight and it's calling my name. Think I'll go have some and start reading the new book I bought for my Kindle. A new murder mystery by one of my favorite authors...yay!

And on that note, I bid you all a good night. Much love...xoxo