The Night Before Tomorrow in Meeting Mr. Jesus Christ

When stressed comfort food comes to mind, but more so I want to run away, go back home where there are hundreds of miles of shoreline to sit along and meditate on my thoughts. This is a favorite place (among at least 200 hundred). I so wish I could be there now.

Tomorrow is the big meeting with the Gastroenterologist. I'll get almost all my test results back. I still have to wait on the uterine biopsy, actually a redo, that bites. Different doctor, too. If anything has been difficult for me it has been this waiting for results. I already know I am facing treatment, I don't know other important details.

Though I am not nervous or worried I am concerned how I will emotionally deal with the big picture. I've been fighting with the bipolar since last October, still on the fringes of depression and very weary from the way it has hung on. That's the down side.

The up side is I've recruited all the support I can. There are people who have solid brains, intelligence and loving hearts who I will be able to sort out my information and check my decisions with. My church family is praying for me and I take great comfort in that.

I've increased my time reading scripture and for prayer at least three fold and feel the benefit of having done so. My relationship with God has become very intimate and I am comforted even in the moments when I can't find a single word or open my mouth to pray. The Holy Spirit cares for me and knows my need even then.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me."
~Psalms51:9-11