faith in poetry

faith is
something for other people
not for me and that’s okay

I know what I am
I know how every time I’ve
ever believed in something
without a shadow of doubt
I’ve become a zealot
I have lost the plot
I’ve either hurt others
or I’ve been hurt myself
or both
usually both

I am what you would call
a dry-drunk for faith
never really recovered in my
unhealthy dependence upon it
but just sane enough to know
I must never imbibe again

if you can have faith
without it going to your head
God bless you, truly
I am jealous of your
lack of addictive personality
but myself
I will buffet myself with doubt
I will gird my loins with doubt
I will baptize myself within a
sea of holy doubt
it’s the only way
to keep me honest
and that’s okay

faith is
something for other people
not for me and that’s okay
I am just taking it from
one day to another day