So... in General musings

haven't cried today so far...just a little tearing up.. F called last night on his way home, as if nothing has changed....sounded a little better emotionally, but mentioned a lot of things that are bothering him. Spoke for about an hour..mostly a "monologue" of him talking as usual, with occasional comment from me. I hope he doesn't think he can call daily...although he did say talk to you "soon", which used to fill me with dread years ago, because it meant who the hell knows when... But that would be good. I felt the usual annoyance with him, but he also was throwing in little things that made me feel "hopeful", and I DO NOT NEED THAT... so..a mixed bag in speaking to him...but for right now, still better for me than NOT.