How to get Pulled Over. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

  • March 11, 2021, 10:24 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

I have two anecdotes for you. It’s storytime.

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Picture it. Jersey. Approaching evening. An ‘88 Dodge Caravan. Black Cherry.

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She stops at a red light going downhill. She makes a sharp right turn onto US-206 going South.

I was with three guy friends. At the time, we ALL had long hair, and all had goatees. Four guys with long hair in an older Dodge Caravan.

I was the only one with a license. Think I was 18. No more than 19.

See those flashing lights in my mirrors. I pull over. I got the boys to chill and stay silent. I wasn’t particularly worried. No tickets in my history. Nothing nefarious in my van.

Got accused of going 62 in a 45mph zone. Yeah.

No.

There is NO way that van could get up to that speed in that short span.

Isn’t it obvious?

He probably thought we had drugs. We were profiled.

No ticket, just a “warning”.


I effectively taught E how to drive. She expressed that her mom made her nervous, whereas I relaxed her. By this point, she had her full license. (Have to be 17 to get your full license in Jersey. Unless things have changed since then.)

E had this propensity for not wearing her seatbelt. I whined and whined and whined at him, but his response was “I DON’T WANNNNNAAAA.”

I was riding shotgun with my seatbelt equipped. Guess why we got pulled over.

Someone wasn’t wearing their seatbelt. Jersey was really cracking down on dumbasses not wearing their seatbelts, at the time.

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Here is the interesting thing.

Naturally, there was the standard license, registration, and insurance check.

I remind you, I was in the passenger seat. Cop asked for my license/identification.

Not sure if it was because E was obviously young and inexperienced. Or if I appeared older. As if I was “teaching” her to drive. (Jersey had laws surrounding minors being escorted by a major with x number of years of driving experience.) And she was a major by then. Again, I had a clean license, so I had nothing to hide.

Just… interesting.

I’m trying to remember if she got a ticket. I think she did, as she was vehemently annoyed/angry about it. Go figure, presenting as a cute girl with long blonde hair won’t get you out of every ticket.

Interesting dichotomy, as four gruff looking guys with long hair and goatees were able to get out of a ticket. (Side-note. My friend Liz claims to have gotten out of a ticket by crying.)

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