Last night in Torridaussity Two

Last night I decided that what I need best is to be strong and be single and not worry about if I find love from a man. I am loved and it may not be the romantic kind of love, but loved just the same and I don't need to deal with all the issues that come from the men I am meeting. I will still talk to Stuart, he is the one who wants to see if there is something between us, but lives in England. I won't cut him out, but I am weary in life right now and just can't take the crap that the men I meet bring into my life. The last entry wasn't from a random guy from a dating site, he is someone I have been friends with for a long time and that's what I don't get and that's why I got so frustrated. He tells me I am gorgeous, that he wants me in his life, he loves me as a friend and a little bit more, yet I am not good enough to be a girlfriend? I know why with him I just wish he wouldn't tell me these things because it just makes me feel like there is something missing in me and he isn't the first guy in my life that has done this and that's why I am done. Oh the reason I am not good enough in my opinion is he finally told me that he was once in love and still loves this woman, but she won't return the feelings because of some issues and I think he won't let himself move on, which I understand, but and this is where I need to be strong I need to move on. I am putting distance between all the men in my life that I am good enough for but not quite. There are 2 and Stuart if he proves to be another one well then there will be 3. In other news my friend who is deployed that I wrote the letter too and he never responded well I wrote to him to see if he was okay and he never wrote back, but he is one facebook all the time and takes time to respond to people's posts so I know he is ok, I also thanks to facebook know he saw my message. So he is the 4th person I am distancing or I guess 3rd until I see what happens with Stuart. Even if I was pissed at someone for doing something (him at me for writing him a sweet letter), if they reached out to see if I was okay, I would at least answer them. His immaturity and lack of respect truly show me what kind of person he really is and how little he valued our friendship. So I am done with him, I will still pray the he and all soldiers can be safe, but that is it.
I am so weary and torn that I just can't take them anymore. I am the only person that can make me happy and that is what I will focus on.