Jeez, I Should Stop Talking in Ultimate Randomness

I really do seem to go completely up and down in terms of my mood lately. The only positive is that the really down periods seem to be a whole lot shorter then they used to be. So I stopped being a moron, at least when it came to talking to D, and messaged her a couple of times. I talked to her for a little last night, but it was so late that she was ready for bed. And then I talked to her again today, immediately after I made an ass out of myself. She had posted how her and her boys were going kayaking, and at the rental place, the woman asked if there were any adults going with them. I responded that of course a cute mom who is young looking is going to be mistaken for an older sister. She responds with "Ummmm, I am their older sister." Oh shit! So basically, I made a comment on par with asking an overweight woman if she is pregnant. At this point, I am ready to crawl into a hole and die, although it was also the first time all day I had a smile on my face. I immediately apologized for being a mental defect, and promised to leave her alone from that point on. Then I posted on Facebook about becoming a Jackass Master, and that I had achieved everything possible on this planet, so the next goal was to become a universal jackass. Apparently, my aunt assumed I was suicidal, freaked out and called my dad, who then promptly called me. I then had to post again to point out that I had made an ass out of myself with someone and felt like a moron, but I was actually laughing at myself. Well, after D finished with her kayaking trip, she messaged me back and told me she was just messing with me. Yup, I thought I had made an ass out of myself one way and ended up doing it in a completely different way. I am the fucking master! Anyway, we ended up messaging back and forth some of the rest of the night while I was at work, I told her older sister or mom, she was still cute. She kinda missed the point, saying, "Hun, I was just kidding with you about the older sister thing." To which I responded that the point I was trying to get across was that no matter what, I thought she was cute. I wanted to tell her she was hot, but I thought that might be saying a bit too much, even though I really do completely think she is about the most beautiful woman I have ever met. But, for now, I will try to keep some of that to myself. I really do want us to be friends, so long as we can actually find time to hang out. Until then, I am content to keep finding ways to talk to her. Yeah, I am probably gonna spend the whole time taking it slow wanting to jump in head first, but if the reward for taking my time is a chance with her, it is worth taking it slow. Sure, I am going to wonder what she thinks about me, if she thinks about me, does she even consider me a possibility, all those things. But for the first time in my life, the answers to those questions don't scare me, good or bad. All I do know is when I talk to her, I feel better about life. When I didn't talk to her for a few days, and considered that she would be better off without me in her life, I felt pretty shitty. Don't get me wrong, she is not the be all and end all. I would be silly to think that way when there is so much to learn about her. But I can at least say I am happier when I talk to her than when I don't. Simple.