I don't know what changed between last week and this week. It could be these walks that I forced myself to take every day, it could be that dog that I met that was a carbon copy of my Kami, or the way Nine clings to me whenever I'm in the apartment, but I am happy. I haven't recovered fully: things ARE rough but I am hanging in there. It could be the 'I don't give a fuck anymore' about the hotel attitude that changed and allowed me to get better. The hotel job just got worse, by the way and although I ought to give an explanation, I'm just too bloody tired, so here you have a copy-paste of what happened:
"they fucking called me 6 times today to ask about a guest who was supposed to check out today (he had visa problems, I told him it was ok by me but he needed to make the change online as well, of course he never did) but the guest didn't move from his room until 2pm. Of course the guy at the front desk was a fucking ass and he didn't do anything until it was time to check in the guest coming in that room. I wrote everything down, down to the point of saying how cute his wife was and how their accent was hell sexy and my boss and the fucking stupid guy at the front desk called me during my exam to ask me everything about that case. They're a goddamn bunch of illeterates and seriously, I turned off my phone and they can fuck off. I'm not on call, this isn't a particularly tough case and I'm so out of here within the month of May, I can't take their bullshit, especially if they're trying to have me take the fall for every fucking one in the hotel. I had to stay late 3 nights out of five because nobody was helping the cleaning lady and she had over 15 rooms to clean by herself, alone! she's 70yo! SHE CAN'T DO THAT." - sorry for the f-word, guys.
I am looking forward to the show I have in August, to me having just a remote piece of peace. I want to evade whatever situation there is at the hotel and curl up with music and 30 seconds to mars. It would be better with Dir en Grey, but I doubt they'll be touring this summer. I expect them this fall and I would do my best to go to a couple of shows. After the maelstrom of 2013-14, it would feel nice to go to something I know so well.
I can't do that hotel job anymore. I can't accept to take everyone's mistake. It's ok for me to fix them, I'll be happy to, but I will not accept the blame from others. I've been doing nothing but work hard for them and they sprung on us the renovation of a room that could have been done this winter as there was nobody in the building but as always, they waited until last minute to do it, so now they have to rehome a few guests.
I need out. Asap.
It's way too early to start finding a job in MN but... I can look? I applied for over 100 jobs in Quebec city and in the surroundings. Hopefully I will be able to have a decent job with a decent pay and verticals. I wouldn't mind the hotel job if I were paid 15$ the hour but that is SO not the case.
Man. I'll go nurse my wine.
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