Wrecked in Current Events

I’m trying to get used to being in the 5 am club again. It’s day two and I hate it. I hate it so much. I had an easier time falling asleep last night at least. So far I’m just doing online training and not in-store training. I think? I’m so confused. This is a learning curve for them as well. I don’t like feeling confused. After my virtual orientation, I sent an e-mail to my supervisor to double-check that this is what I’m doing. I was e-mailed shifts and when I spoke to her yesterday I did ask if these shifts were just online training and I don’t know why I am so confused. I’m sure it won’t be the end of the world if there is a mixup and I fail to show up and they had to call me in.

I got to have the house to myself for the day again. It was so nice. I made my way to my storage locker to get a list of things that I wanted and the door was frozen shut. The warm weather that ruined everything the other day caused the door to freeze to the ground. That was annoying.

Toni called me yesterday. She was a wreck again. Three hours she spent crying off and on over Bob. Again. I wasn’t really in the mood. She always does this. She’s in a FWB situation that she can’t handle. She’s fallen for him and she knows the score. He told her what it was, he even sleeps with other women. The last time she got wrecked it was because he was hiding that from her. He’s decided to start a relationship with someone else and now Toni feels shortchanged. She feels led on and this happens all of the time. I keep telling her to stop trying to be his friend. She doesn’t owe him that. She thinks the whole situation is fucked up and complicated but it’s not. She was getting annoyed with me because I wouldn’t let her play the victim, she was a co-creator. They both knew the score. The mistake she made was still hanging on to it and revolving her life around him. They’re both the kind of people who prefer to get involved with people they know they can’t have so they don’t have to fully commit to avoid being vulnerable. Whatever it’s done and she can move on finally. This man is a loser and not worth it. I think I’m impatient with this situation because I was in a similar one with Tyler and Roarke.

I really hate this 5 am club lol. It feels like forever, that I’ll never sleep again. I was miserable about the lack of sleep in this house already because of the kids here. I miss my bed. A bed. I am grateful for the couch. I wanted my blanket from the storage locker, I can’t get warm. Anyway, I have to get on with the modules I guess. They’ll call me if I’m supposed to be there? Nobody returned my e-mail yet. Yesterday I had to call because they didn’t e-mail me at all about the virtual orientation. I thought I was supposed to log into it at the start of “the 6:15 am - 2:45 pm shift” but I was told to just do the online modules but take a long break because the orientation was 1-4:30 in the afternoon. That one was on them, the orientation that is. They’re learning as well. They’re taking this con-19 “threat” seriously and changed the way they do training and I’m the test pilot. Man, the virtual orientation was with 60 other people across the country. When they opened the floor for questions all the questions were about con-19 safety. Jesus people.

Last updated February 24, 2021